


Precarious

by Erandir



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gakuen Hetalia, Gen, M/M, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-06 11:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erandir/pseuds/Erandir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Away from home at boarding school it’s very easy to forget about the rest of the world. But Tino Väinämöinen is about to learn that being away from home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and that people keep secrets even from those they love the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Precarious** – adjective;  
1\. Dependent on circumstances beyond one's control; uncertain; unstable; insecure.  
2\. Dependent on the will of another; liable to be withdrawn or lost at the will of another.  
3\. Exposed to or involving danger.

\----------

Hetalia International Academy was a world-renowned secondary school situated in a small town in the foothills of the Alps. The school was best known for its vocational training in international politics, business, and history. Graduating from HIA practically ensured admission into any university in the world. However, admission to HIA was not particularly difficult. Good marks in the appropriate school subject, a personal essay and a glowing recommendation were all the requirements. They accepted 500 new students every year. But only about half of the students who enrolled lasted more than a year. School work was hard, with classes six days a week and instructors who were some of the best in their field, and it took dedication and determination to make it through.

But even knowing what trials awaited them, students applied. HIA accepted students aged thirteen to eighteen and always received numerous applications from students of all ages.

Tino Väinämöinen was sixteen years old when he sent in his third application to the academy. This was, he determined, his last chance at getting in. Next year it would almost not be worth the trouble to apply again. His grades were certainly good enough, so Tino was not sure what he was doing wrong. Were his recommendations not good enough? Was there something wrong with his essay? But the boy had high aspirations, and he would not give up. He was determined to get into this school, and perhaps it was that determination that finally earned him that long-awaited acceptance letter.

He knew as soon as the envelope came in the mail that this one was different. The past two years had earned him only a small envelope with a single piece of paper apologizing that they could not accept him this year and encouraging him to try again the next. This year Tino received a much larger envelop, and inside he found what he had been hoping for since his thirteenth birthday.

 

_Dear Mr. Väinämöinen,_

_We are pleased to inform you that your application to Hetalia International Academy has been accepted. You have been provisionally accepted into the International Relations program pending placement testing._

_Enclosed with this letter you will find your Incoming Student Handbook. This handbook will provide all the information you need to prepare for the upcoming school year at HIA, including information on housing and course placement. Please return the roommate survey included in the housing packet no later than August 1 st so that we may match you with a roommate._

_On behalf of Hetalia International we would like to congratulate you on your acceptance, and we look forward to meeting you. If you have any further questions you may contact the Office of Admissions at the number below._

_Sincerely,  
_ _Admissions Board  
_ _Hetalia_ _International Academy_

Tino could not contain his joy.

Standing next to his mailbox in the summer sun, staring at the simple piece of paper that held all his hopes and dreams, Tino had never been happier in his entire life. When the shock of the moment wore off the teen was running inside, shouting to his parents so they could celebrate with him.

Within the week Tino was packing his things, even though he would not leave for months. New students moved into the dorms on September first, classes started a week later after orientations and placement exams. The date was circled in bright red on Tino’s calendar. He could not have been more excited, even if he was a little nervous about moving away from home. This was, after all, the first time he would spend more than a week away. And the school was so very far away from his home in Finland.

But while other kids his age probably worried about whether they would be able to see or talk to their friends, how they would fit in at the new school, and other such teenage concerns, Tino was not bothered by any of those thoughts. He came from a small town, and Tino had always been a little odd. He had friends, sure, but none of them particularly close, none he could not live without.  In fact, he was happy to be getting away, even if he was moving to a similarly small town. He would get to meet new people from all over the world. Make new friends. And maybe find somewhere he fit in.

\----------

When September rolled around Tino boarded a plane with his mother in Helsinki and they flew to Milan, Italy. She came to see him off and make sure that he got all his bags from the plane and got onto the right train. And then Tino was on his own. A train up toward the mountains and then a bus to the school campus, and finally he was there.

Standing at the bus stop Tino took his first look at the little town where he would be spending the next two years of his life. It was a quaint little mountain town with narrow cobbled streets and historic houses painted in cheerful earth tones. Autumn had not yet hit this lower latitude, although the elevation of the mountain town put a chill in the air. According to the school website nearly half the population was either students or staff of the school. It did not look as though it had changed much in a hundred years, save the modern street signs and electric lamps that illuminated the street. And there, just up the street from were he stood, was the academy.

It was an old castle standing on a slight bluff; some nobleman’s summer house transformed into a school centuries ago. The town had, by now, grown all the way up to the edge of the school grounds and the castle had been expanded with extra classrooms and dormitories; buildings that imitated the original architecture but still stuck out as being different. The grounds were protected by an ancient high wrought iron fence broken with an ornate gate at the head of the long drive up to the buildings. Tino could see a small group of other new students with their suitcases already groups around the gate and he hurried over to join them, dragging his rolling suitcase behind him. When he neared the group he discovered that they had congregated around a table set up by the open gates. This must be where he checked in.

Waiting in line behind two other students Tino took a closer look at the area and the people here. He hadn’t seen any of the townsfolk yet, but perhaps that was not terribly out of the ordinary. Around him he heard the other students nervously conversing with each other, mostly in English but with a number of different accents. It seemed like everyone had a different accent. Tino had never really met anyone from another country, and he found himself both shy and excited at the same time. He had always been curious about other countries. That was why he was here, after all. But now that he had the opportunity to meet new people Tino found himself too shy to open up his mouth and say anything. He hoped he would overcome that.

When he finally reached the table, although the wait was not nearly as long as it had felt, Tino was greeted by the polite smile of a student. It was a young man, probably only a year older than Tino, with messy blond hair and green eyes. He wore the school uniform that Tino had so far only seen picture of, and on the sleeve of his navy blazer was a red band which, Tino assumed, marked him apart from the other students.

“Last name?” he asked, speaking with a posh British accent.

“Väinämöinen,” Tino replied.

The green eyed boy stared up at him with mild horror for a moment. “Can you spell that for me?” he asked. Tino did, and when the Brit found his name on a list of incoming students he checked it off with satisfaction. “Welcome to Hetalia International, Tino. My name is Arthur, I’m the student council president,” he greeted, and from a box under the table pulled out a large manila envelope with Tino’s name printed on the front. “This has all you’ll need to know about living here, including a map of the grounds, which you will probably need for the first week or so, and a schedule of placement testing going on this week. Because you’re a transfer we’ll have to make sure you’re on track with the other students your age. Although I don’t think there will be a problem, since you’re from Finland. It also has your housing information and a key to your room. A shuttle will be down from the main building in a few minutes to take you up with your bags. After you’ve put everything in your room you’ll need to head down to the student store to pick up your uniform.”

Tino could only nod as he listened to this speech, which had probably been recited innumerable times already. It was all a little overwhelming, but he supposed that was par for the course here. He took the envelope from Arthur, the packet heavy in his hands as he stepped away from the table to let the next student check in.

The shuttle that showed up moments later was actually just a large pickup truck with benches bolted into the flatbed. Fourteen of the new students, Tino included, were squeezed into the back with their luggage. Tino smiled pleasantly at the other students, hoping to come off as a nice person, and turned to stare at the castle growing ever closer. It was enormous from up close; three stories high and built of ancient grey stone.  Four wings surrounded a large inner courtyard with the new additions, built of the same grey stone but still somehow distinctive from the historic building, branching off the Northwest corner of the building. There were also a few free standing buildings of various sizes nestled throughout the grounds, but they were quite insignificant beside the grand structure of the main academy.

The truck pulled up in front of the main entrance and stopped to let the students out. Dragging his bags along behind him Tino moved with the small group through the large wooden doors that were flung open welcomingly and stood in the entrance hall. The ceiling seemed to go up forever. Surrounded by stone it was quite a bit cooler inside than out, but Tino found that quite pleasant at the moment.

Inside the building they were greeted by another student whose uniform sported a red armband; another member of student council. He greeted the group with an enthusiastic, “Hello!” and an energetic wave. “Welcome to HIA, new people,” he greeted cheerfully, and pushed up the glasses that had slipped down his nose during his lively greeting. He was American, that much was obvious from his accent and his loud, cheerful voice. “I’m Alfred Jones, student council vice president. Best job in the world, all the power, none of the responsibility. Anyway, I’m here to show you to your rooms so you don’t get lost. Not that it’s that hard. We’re in the main building right now; this is where all the classrooms, the dining hall and the library are. It’s three stories high, there’s some stairs here in the front hall, some in the dining hall, and another set in the back near the dorms. That’s where we’re going now. Follow me!” He spoke like a whirlwind and turned around even faster, heading off and just expecting the others to follow him. Follow they did.

Alfred led them down a hall that bordered the inner courtyard. Tino could not help staring out the windows that looked out on it, though he probably should have been paying more attention to the rooms they passed. The courtyard was immaculately gardened, though mostly grass gravel paths wound across it and small flowerboxes decorated the yard. Several tables sat in the grass, no doubt to encourage students to spend time outdoors between their classes.

At the end of the hallway they stopped, and Tino looked back toward the inside to discover that the corridor branched off. “This is where the dorms meet the main building,” Alfred was saying, still talking a mile a minute. “They’re not part of the original construction. Actually, if you look close you can tell the old stones apart from the new stones, which is pretty cool. But anyway here’s the other stairs I was telling you about, there’s also a flight at the end of each dorm wing, and a kitchen at the end of each floor, too. Your room’s going to be in either the North Wing or the West Wing. You can tell ‘cause on your room will have either ‘N’ and a number, or ‘W’ and a number. North Wing is straight ahead, and West Wing’s out to your right. If you’ve got something else written on your room assignment let me know, ‘cause there is a set of dorms just down the hill a ways, but it’s mostly reserved for returning students since it’s a lot nicer. If you make it through the year here you’ll probably get to live there; or in town, if you want, but then you’ve to walk really far to school.”

Alfred had not said much, but for some reason it took him a long time to say it, and Tino felt overwhelmed even though he had not been given that much information. Tino began to wonder whether all Americans were this intense, or if Alfred was just incredibly hyper. The American flitted around to each student in turn to help them locate their room number and point them in the right direction to find it, offering each of them a bright smile.

Tino’s room was N236. That meant he had to drag his bags up a flight of stairs, which he was not looking forward to. Standing at the bottom of his stairs with his large suitcase Tino stared up with very little confidence. Tino was not particularly strong. He was short, not particularly muscular, and this suitcase probably weighed almost as much as he did.  But just as he was about to make the daunting climb up the stairs with the case he was rescued by the loudmouth vice president.

“Want help with that?” Alfred asked, appearing as if by magic at Tino’s side. The Finn was startled by his sudden presence, but managed to nod ‘yes’ to answer his question. With a grin Alfred took the suitcase from Tino’s hands and lifted it up with ease as he started up the stairs. Tino watched in amazement as he trotted along behind, listening to the American chatter on about anything and everything as they headed upstairs and then down the hall to his room.

The rooms were small, but not too small, Tino discovered after bidding Alfred farewell and unlocking the door. On either side of the room a bed sat along the wall, a window between them and under that window two desks. At the end of each bed was a dresser, and the room also sported one walk-in closet and a sink. On each bed sat a pillow and a single set of sheets, but other than that the room was completely barren.

No roommate yet, that was one of the first things Tino noticed. And he vaguely remembered Alfred mentioning that if no one showed up by the end of the day then he would be rooming with a returning student, someone who would not arrive until the day before classes. It was already late in the afternoon, almost dinner time, so Tino did not think there was much chance of anyone else showing up to join him.

\----------

As the week rolled on Tino was inundated with orientations, meetings with counselors and teachers, and assessment of his aptitude in various subjects. It was a busy week, in which he had little time for meeting and befriending his fellow new arrivals, who were similarly booked with meetings and tests.

Classes were all taught in English, but non-native speakers were also required to take English language instruction. Native English speakers were required to take another language of their choice. One could not graduate from Hetalia International without being near-fluent in at least two languages.

Tino planned on being fluent in three.

He had taken both English and Swedish at school in Finland, and he planned to continue those studies because, he figured, Finnish was probably useless in the international arena.

But taking two languages meant he was taking one more class than most of his classmates. His schedule was a daunting thing. Nine courses would have him in class from eight in the morning until six at night. Six days a week.

It looked something like this:

 

_8:00 - World History_  
 _9:00 - Introduction to International Relations  
_ _10:00 - Government  
_ _11:00 - English Language  
_ _12:00 - Western Literature  
_ _13:00 - Lunch  
_ _14:00 - Swedish Language  
_ _15:00 - Statistics and Probability  
_ _16:00 - Introduction to Political Science  
_ _17:00 - Economics  
_ _18:00 - Dinner_

 

Tino was certain he would live to regret this schedule, but he was determined to see it through for the entire term. Coming in as an older student he felt as though he was already behind in his studies and needed to catch up. This was not particularly the case, as there were a number of students who transferred at the same age as him, but more than anything Tino did not want to be left behind. Already he was planning to stay for the summer term, if he could stand being away from home for that long.

But he had met some of the other students living in his hall in passing. He knew that there was a boy one year younger than him from Hong Kong, another from New Zealand, and a girl from Belgium, among others.

By the time returning students were arriving on the Sunday before classes Tino felt as though he had already been in school for a week. But he was still eager to meet his roommate. He was one of very few new students to be matched with a returning student as a roommate, and he was very curious about what sort of person he would be living with. Would they get along? He hoped they would be friends. But what if they weren’t? What if his roommate was a total jerk? What if they were a total snob? All Sunday morning Tino’s thoughts bounced back and forth between hopeful thoughts about the ideal roommate, and worries about the nightmare that a bad roommate could be.

In the early afternoon all of his worrying was put to rest when the door swung open. Standing in the doorway was a teenager about the same age as Tino with short sandy blond hair and blue-green eyes behind wire-framed glasses. He laid eyes on Tino, who was laying on his bed with his computer on his lap, and smiled. “Hey, you must be Tino, I’m Eduard,” he greeted, and abandoned his suitcase in the doorway to come greet Tino.

“Yeah, Tino,” the Finn confirmed, setting his computer aside and sitting up to shake Eduard’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Eduard.”


	2. Chapter 2

After introductions were made Eduard began unpacking his things. Tino sat on his bed, feet kicking idly, and watched him. After all the worry that he would get a horrible roommate Tino was relieved that Eduard, who appeared to be a totally normal teenaged boy, had been the one to walk in the door. “So you’re from Estonia?” he mused. “That makes us neighbors!” Which made Eduard an even better roommate.

“Yeah, I suppose it does,” Eduard replied with a bit of a smile. “Oh, I never asked what program you’re in.”

“International relations,” Tino replied with a smile. “What about you?”

“I’m in business,” Eduard answered.

“You have to take a lot of economics and math classes for that, don’t you?” Tino frowned a small bit when he thought about it. “I’m not good at those.”

Eduard chuckled, “Then it’s a good thing you’re not a business student. But if you ever need help in those classes you can ask me.”

“You’re probably going to regret that offer,” Tino laughed. “I’ll have you doing all my homework for me if you’re not careful.”

“I’ll just have to be careful, then,” Eduard said sagely. There was no immediate reply from Tino, so he went back to unpacking his things. After he finished loading all his clothes into the dresser he extracted two laptop computers and an absolutely enormous CD case. 

That got Tino’s attention. “You have two computers?” he asked incredulously.

“Of course,” Eduard replied, as though it were the most normal thing in the world. “One for work and one for play.” He set both the computers down on his desk, one beside the other, and then handed the CD case to Tino. “And this is my movie collection. If you promise not to ruin or lose any of the disks you can watch whatever you want.”

Tino snatched the case away and immediately began flipping through it curiously. The Finn had never seen this many movies in one place in his entire life; except at a store. And half of them he had never even heard of. These were from all over the world, with titles in languages that Tino did not even recognize. He wanted to watch all of them. And then he spotted something he did recognize. “You have the Moomins DVDs?” Tino asked in amazement.

Eduard spun around, turning away from organizing his desk, to look at Tino, a mild look of horror on his face. He had mistaken Tino’s tone for condescension. “Well, you know, I just never throw anything out,” he said, desperate to make his collection of children’s cartoons seem less incriminating.

“Are you kidding?” Tino looked up at him with a wide grin. “I love the Moomins! If you have it on DVD, then I can watch it whenever I want! This is great!”

“Really?” Eduard asked in disbelief. 

“Of course!” Tino exclaimed. “Hey, do you like salmiakki?”

“Of course,” Eduard replied, as though it were obvious. “Favorite sport?”

“Hockey,” Tino answer without hesitation. “Favorite bizarre sport?”

“Wife carrying,” Eduard replied after a short pause for thought.

Then the two stared at each other for a long moment, unable to believe that another teenaged boy was willing to admit to loving a children’s television show, little-known sporting competitions, and enjoying candy that the rest of the word thought was poison. “Did we just become best friends?” Tino asked after a while.

“I think so,” Eduard replied.

The boys continued to chat as Eduard finished unpacking his things. When everything was out of his suitcase he threw it under his bed and then flopped down on top of it happily. Packing and unpacking were such tiring and tedious tasks, but Eduard liked to get them over with as quickly as possible; and having Tino here to talk with certainly helped keep him from getting bored. Tino had babbled away enough for the both of them, but by now he had run out of conversation topics. So they sat in silence, Tino still swinging his feet back and forth idly as he sat on the bed, and Eduard staring at the ceiling as he rested for a short while. 

The silence was broken by a soft rumbling from Tino’s stomach. The Finn blushed horribly in embarrassment and laughed sheepishly. He had been so excited to meet his new roommate that he had forgotten to eat lunch today, and now he was regretting it. “Do you want to go get dinner?” he asked.

Eduard laughed a bit, but agreed, and the two left their room to head to the dining hall. As they headed down the hall to the dining room Tino was determined to enjoy his last day before classes started. He had not made any good friends yet, but maybe he would now that all the other students were here. After all, no one wants to show up on the first day of class and be a complete stranger.

The dining hall was located in the east wing of the old castle. In order to make enough room for all the students it took over the first two floors of the building for half the length of the wing. It had been, in the castle’s original construction, two separate dining rooms. When the school outgrew just one, part of the ceiling was knocked out and a staircase put in to connect the two. Today the first floor looked almost as it had back then. On one end of the long room stood a buffet from which students served themselves, and round tables were scattered around the rest of the hall.

The outside wall was lined with high windows that reached almost to the ceiling, or where the ceiling had once been. Only about half of it still existed. The upper dining hall was more of a balcony that ran around the edge of the room, leaving an empty space in the center through which the other level could be seen. The upstairs was just a seating area connected to the lower half by a wide spiral staircase and sporting long rectangular dining tables. 

Because their dorm was on the second level it was through the upper portion of the dining hall that Tino and Eduard entered, and then made their way down to the ground floor to get their food. Walking through the dining hall Tino could not stop himself from looking around. There had to be at least twice as many students in here now as he had seen the entire week. “Are any of your friends here?” he asked, glancing over at Eduard.

“I think everyone’s here by now,” Eduard replied thoughtfully. But he had not communicated directly with any of his friends about their arrival yet, so whether they were having dinner now he did not know. As they descended the stairs he took a look around to see if he could spot anyone. 

Eduard was not exactly the most popular kid in school. If Tino was relying on him to make friends then the poor Finn would be sorely disappointed. Eduard could probably count the number of friends he had on his fingers and in the end have spare fingers. But on the first night of the school year neither wanted to eat dinner alone when all the others students were getting reacquainted. Thankfully, just as they reached the bottom of the stairs Eduard spotted someone he knew. Waving he managed to catch their attention, and then pulled Tino over to the table.

Sitting at one of the round tables, which sat five or six people comfortably and up to ten depending on how cozy you were willing to get, were three boys around the same age as Tino and Eduard. And every single one of them had blond hair and blue eyes. 

“Eduard,” the one in the middle greeted, although Tino did not think he sounded terribly excited. If anything, he sounded bored. He was shorter than the other two, his hair long for a boy and held to the side with a silver hairpin. Today, before classes began, all the students were still in street clothes. “We were wondering whether you were here yet. Who’s this?” he asked when he noticed Tino.

“This is Tino, my new roommate,” Eduard introduced. “Tino, this is Mathias, Nicklas, and Berwald,” he pointed to the three boys in turn and Tino waved at them cheerfully.

“Oh, new kid!” the one introduced as Mathias smiled and leaned forward slightly. He was tall, which was obvious even as he was sitting down, and wore his hair spiked up chaotically. Or maybe he just woke up that way and never fixed it. He had an almost predatory grin that made Tino feel a little uncomfortable. “Tino is a pretty weird name. Where you from? What year are you? What’s your program?

Tino stammered a bit in the face of the other boy’s onslaught of questions, not sure which one to answer first. Much to his relief, though, he was rescued by Eduard. “Leave him alone, neither of us had lunch,” Eduard rolled his eyes. “You can interrogate him after we get something to eat.”

“Fine, fine,” Mathias sighed and waved them off, and Eduard pulled a grateful Tino away from the table.

“Is he always like that?” Tino asked when he thought they were out of hearing range, and glanced back at the table. It seemed that the trio had already forgotten about them and gone back to eating and talking amongst themselves.

“Most of the time,” Eduard replied. “Makes me glad I don’t have to deal with him very often. Nicklas and Berwald are much nicer, even though they’re a bit hard to get to know.”

Tino was uncertain how he felt about the fact that the first people he met were declared ‘difficult to know’. But he had only just met them, so he could not pass judgment yet. Nicklas, at least, had seemed nice enough, though Berwald had not spoken a word and Mathias had spoken enough for all three of them.

Those thoughts were cut short as they arrived at the front of the dining hall where the buffet tables were lined up. As soon as the smell of the food assaulted Tino’s nose his stomach growled again and his mouth watered. It smelled delicious. Even though Tino had been eating here for a week he was still somewhat awed by the spread that appeared every day. By far dinner was the best meal. The tables were laden with dishes from which the students could serve themselves and there was always a great variety of foods. The dishes were largely those suited to wide number of pallets to serve the incredibly diverse tastes of the student population. However, each evening there was at least one specialty dish, a traditional fare, a taste of home for some of the students. Nothing Finnish had shown up so far, but that was not a surprise. Tino did not expect there were many other Finnish students at the school, if there were any at all. 

Following Eduard through the line, Tino loaded his plate with as much as he thought he could eat, and then the two boys headed back to the table. Tino found himself seated between Eduard and Berwald, and he was perfectly happy with this arrangement, because he was still a little uncertain how he felt about Mathias, his only other choice to sit beside.

As he ate Tino glanced over at Berwald shyly and took his first good look at the silent member of their table. They were sitting down and already the other towered over him. Tino was slightly terrified of how much taller the other would be when he stood up. His face was serious, and it looked as though he was deep in thought. Maybe he was worried about the start of classes the next day, or maybe that was just how his face looked. He had his blond hair cut short and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses sat on his nose; the shadows cast by the frames seemed to sharpen his features even more.

“Tino! You never answered my questions,” Mathias said suddenly, snapping Tino out of his thoughts.

“Oh, right,” the Finn stammered a bit as he sorted out his thoughts. “I’m from Finland, a little town up in the north that no one’s ever heard of. Um… I’m in the International Relations program, and they put me on track with the third years, mostly, but I’m ahead in language.”

“Your English is very good,” Nicklas commented.

“Thank you,” Tino smiled at the compliment. “I’m also taking Swedish.”

“Swedish?” Mathias asked, and Berwald looked up from his food, turning his intense gaze to Tino. “Maybe you can help Berwald, then. His English sucks.”

Berwald frowned and glared sharply at Mathias. “Does not,” he insisted. It was the first Tino had heard him speak, and his voice was deeper than expected. Berwald was also surprisingly soft spoken, and he mumbled a little. It did not sound as though he was very confident in his speaking abilities. Or maybe he was embarrassed of his accent. Although Tino did not see how anyone could be embarrassed about an accent here.

“You’re Swedish?” Tino looked back at Berwald curiously. Although with a name like Berwald he probably should have put those pieces together a lot sooner. “Well, if you do need it I’d be happy to help,” he offered. “And you can help me with my Swedish, too.” There were certainly worse ways he could think of spending his time than flexing his language skills with a friend. “It’s a lot easier when you’re not in class.”

Berwald blushed a little bit behind his glasses and Tino worried for a moment he had said something to embarrass him. But after a moment the quiet boy nodded and mumbled, “Ja… That’d be nice.” 

Holding back a sigh of relief, Tino smiled at him. Berwald was only shy, he told himself, and that was rather endearing. It made Tino feel a lot less self conscious, too. “Great,” he chimed. 

The rest of the meal passed in amicable conversation. Tino discovered that he and Nicklas had similar tastes in music, which certainly caused some surprise to their tablemates when the two mild-mannered boys struck up a conversation about death metal guitarists. All three of them were the same grade level as himself and Eduard, and Mathias proudly announced that he was also an International Relations student, so he would probably have some classes with Tino. Nicklas and Berwald were both in the History program. 

“What dorm are you all in?” Tino asked when they had all finished and were preparing to part ways. He expected to see them all tomorrow during one class or another, but he was curious to know whether they were nearby.

“All three of us are in one of the apartments,” Mathias answered for all of them.

“Apartments?” Tino asked in confusion.

“He means the Southwest buildings,” Nicklas clarified. “The ones just down the hill.”

“Oh, right,” Tino nodded. He had never been down there himself, though a tour of the campus had pointed out the rooftops visible from the castle. The Southwest dorms were reserved for returning students as a perk for surviving the rigorous schoolwork and daring to come back another year. It was a collection of buildings huddled into the hillside, which descended rather steeply on the west side of campus. “I hear those are nice.”

Mathias laughed a little. “Nicer than the dorms, at least. I only have to share my bathroom with these two, instead of half the floor, and we have a fridge. Tino, you are hereby invited to every party this year, because I think you’re cool,” he added, and slapped the Finn on the shoulder. 

Tino’s eyes lit up slightly when he heard that. Provided he had any time to party, he would be certain not to miss one. Mathias seemed like the sort of person who knew how to throw a party. And Tino did want to spend at least a small portion of his time enjoying the freedom that living away from home granted. Although the school did still have a curfew, it was later than the one his parents had always set, and he was old enough to drink here.

“I’d love to,” Tino chimed, already looking forward to it. Then he and Eduard bid farewell to the other three as they parted ways outside the dining hall, heading back to their rooms on opposite sides of the school.


	3. Chapter 3

It could be argued that the first day of school is the most stressful of the entire school year, particularly to a new student. Being unfamiliar with the campus lead to a lot of students getting lost in the first few days as they attempted to locate their classrooms. Very few students had the forethought to tour the school themselves in the days before instruction started. At least the school building was not difficult to navigate. In the castle the rooms were in number order and there was only one hall on each floor. Tino was lucky that all of his classes for the first term were within the castle and not in any of the outlying buildings; this made his life quite a bit easier. 

The alarm in Tino and Eduard’s room went off loud and jarring at six o’clock on that Monday morning. The clock sat in the middle of the desks between their beds. It was too far for either of them to reach from within bed, which forced at least one of them to get up to shut it off. On the first day of class this was a necessity which prevented either of them from hitting the snooze button indefinitely until they were both late to class. 

Groaning, Tino rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head in an attempt to shut out the shrill beeping of the clock. It did not work very well. But it helped, and in the end he lasted longer than Eduard, who climbed grumbling out of bed to shut off the alarm clock. And then he shoved Tino’s shoulder, “Get up.”

“No,” Tino grumbled, and attempted to burrow deeper into the blankets.

“Get up,” Eduard said again, and shook Tino’s shoulders. “Time for school.” Tino only mumbled something in Finnish and curled up tighter. He was not a morning person. Eduard groaned, wondering if this was going to become a problem. “Fine,” he muttered, and decided to leave the Finn alone for now. “I’m going to take a shower. If you are not up by the time I’m back I’m going to breakfast without you.” 

While Eduard was down the hall in the bathroom Tino managed to haul himself out of bed. Still half asleep he staggered over to the sink in the corner and splashed water on his face. That helped to wake him up slightly, but he still felt groggy. It was simply too early in the morning, and Tino did not function this early without caffeine. What he would not give for a coffee maker in his dorm so he would not have to walk all the way down to the dining hall to get some. 

Tino was brushing his teeth when Eduard returned from the bathroom, his hair damp and a wet towel over his arm. He gave only a brief greeting to Tino and hung up the towel on a hook on the back of the door, then went over to his dresser to change out of his pajamas and into his school uniform. 

Today would be the first day Tino wore his uniform for more than a few minutes. And after washing his face one more time to try and wake himself up properly he changed into it. Blue and grey plaid slacks, a white button-down shirt and a black tie were the staples of the uniform; required during any official school function. Tino slipped these on, fumbling slightly with the tie before managing to knot it somewhat evenly, and stared at himself in the small mirror above the sink. He had never worn a school uniform before. It felt very strange, though he had to admit it made it very easy to decide what to wear in the morning. To protect himself from the morning chill Tino pulled on a tan sweater, then grabbed his book bag and headed out with Eduard.

It was nearly seven by the time the boys left their room. This left them with just enough time to get breakfast before they had to get to their first class. 

In the dining hall Tino served himself a heaping bowl of porridge–with extra sugar–and a cup of coffee–no sugar–and then joined Eduard at a table. There was very little conversation over breakfast, just the devouring of food at a rate which can only be achieved by teenage boys. After two cups of coffee Tino’s mood had improved remarkably, much to the surprise of his roommate. 

“Are you going to be like this every morning?” Eduard asked as he watched Tino from across the table. 

Tino finished off his last cup of coffee before replying, “Probably. I’ve been drinking coffee every morning since I was 10.”

“Is that healthy?” Eduard asked.

“… Probably not,” Tino replied with a shrug. “I’m just used to having it there every morning, ready when I wake up. I’m not used to having to get dressed and drag myself this far from bed before getting some. I’ll adapt eventually.”

“For your sake, I hope so,” Eduard said earnestly.

\----------

Although the first day of classes can be the most stressful, it is also when the least amount of work gets done. As though the teachers know that none of their students will be able to perform on this day, there is very little homework assigned and very little material covered. Tino is relieved that most of his teachers have spent this first day going over homework schedules and talking about how amazing they think the assigned textbook is. It was an easygoing day as far as schoolwork was concerned. But even so Tino was beginning to get tired and bored, not to mention hungry, at the start of fifth period. It was noon already, but lunch would not be for another hour. 

As he was sitting at his desk in room 307, in the West wing of the castle, Tino wondered who had designed the schedule for this school, which demanded students be finished with breakfast before eight o’clock, but did not allow them to eat lunch until one in the afternoon. It was sadistic, in his opinion. 

But thankfully Tino had a distraction. His fifth period class, Western Literature, was also the fifth period class for Mathias. Tino had been a bit hesitant to judge the Dane’s character when they had met at dinner the night before, and so he spent almost the entire period trying to figure him out. They chatted softly when the teacher was not paying attention, quietly complaining about the number of books they would have to read. This class was not a favorite for either of them. And Tino found Mathias to be quite pleasant when he was not being jarringly loud and excited.

All the same, though, when class was dismissed Tino was eager to get to the dining hall for something to eat. Only an hour for lunch seemed hardly long enough to stop the rumbling in his stomach. He packed up his notebook, slinging his bookbag over his shoulder, and headed out of the classroom with Mathias.

“We’re having a start of school party on Saturday night,” The Dane informed Tino as they headed to lunch. 

“You celebrate the start of school?” Tino asked with a short laugh.

Mathias chuckled also. “Well, I guess it’s more to celebrate surviving the first week of classes and seeing all our friends again. Or making new friends, if you’re a new student,” he elaborated, grinning. “Doesn’t matter! You better be there.”

“I will be,” Tino assured. He was already anticipating the party. 

\----------

Finally, Saturday rolled around, marking an end to the longest week of Tino’s life. A six-day school week was difficult to adjust to, and it felt like so much more work than he had ever had at school before. Of course, that was what they said about this academy. And Tino’s friends assured him that it was par for the course. 

As soon as he was back in his room after dinner Saturday night Tino stripped out of his school uniform and began digging through his dresser for something suitable to wear to a party. But he was not even entirely sure what would be suitable. He only knew he wanted to be out of that uniform. On most days he did not bother changing-except to remove the tie-until he got ready for bed because there was simply no point. But this was not most days, even if there was a high probability that this Saturday night event would become routine. After all, Saturday night was the only night on which they did not have to worry about classes in the morning. But with a school-wide curfew of midnight it was impossible to leave campus.

The apartments, Tino was assured, were the next best thing. Situated away from the main building students in the apartments enjoyed slightly more freedom than those in the dorms. There was no chance that a teacher might wander past.

After staring at his wardrobe for nearly five minutes Tino finally decided what he was going to wear. For the first party of the year he felt he had to make a good impression, make some more friends. So he chose a tight fitting black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans that fit just right. He smoothed down his hair with his hands, making sure every golden strand was in exactly the right place.

“Are you done primping?” Eduard asked from the doorway. He had finished getting ready for the party nearly ten minutes ago.

Tino’s face burned in embarrassment and he pulled himself away from the mirror. “Yes,” he said quickly, sheepishly. “Sorry for making you wait.”

“It’s okay,” Eduard assured him, and they began down the hall. “You always going to be like this?”

“Maybe,” Tino was embarrassed to admit that he probably would. “I just want to make a good impression.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Eduard comforted. The hosts of the party already liked Tino, and that was really all that mattered. If Mathias and Nicklaus approved of Tino then it was likely everyone else at the party would get along with him as well. 

They walked through the school building and out onto the grounds. A paved path ran down the hillside to where the apartments were situated. They were small clusters of buildings, slightly more modern in appearance than the rest of the school architecture, but designed to fit in with the overall look of campus. Instead of being built of stone as the castle and its additions were, these were plaster-sided buildings seated on stone foundations, the same style as many of the buildings in town. 

Eduard led the way down the hill and into the small complex. They passed one building, and then headed up the stairs of another, up to the second floor and then down to the last of three doors. The door was wide open and as soon as the reached the top of the stairs Tino could hear the party. Music was playing, some song Tino did not recognize, and he could hear people talking over the sound of the stereo. 

As they entered the apartment Tino recognized about half the people, either from class or from his dorm. They were all milling about, chatting in pairs or small groups, and nearly everyone had a drink in their hand. 

It was a tiny one-bedroom apartment. The living room was a fairly good size, housing some comfortable looking sofas and a coffee table. To one side was a tiny kitchenette, but it was barely more than a microwave, coffee maker, sink and refrigerator. Tonight, the counter was covered in plastic cups and glass bottles. Tino’s eyes lit up when he saw the spread. He had expected some cans of beer and maybe one bottle of spirits. But there were drinks of all kinds. Beer, wine, rum, vodka, whiskey, sodas, and juices. Tino had never had much opportunity to try these things, his parents were not big drinkers and he had found that their choices of drink were not particularly to his tastes. But he was always eager to try new things. 

Not a moment after Tino had spotted the beverage table he and Eduard were spotted by the party’s gracious host. Mathias was holding a beer bottle in one hand, his hair even more outrageously style than normal, if that was possible, and he was wearing a pair of jeans that already sported a wine stain. “Tino, Eduard!” He cheered when he saw the pair and made a b-line for them. “Glad you could make it! Can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks,” Eduard quickly turned down the offer.

Mathias made a face. “I forgot; you’re a responsible young adult,” he said melodramatically. Eduard punched him in the arm. 

“I’ll have one!” Tino interrupted enthusiastically before the two could start arguing. He had learned quickly that Mathias could start an argument with anyone about anything whether he was trying or not.

“Fantastic!” Mathias cheered, and grabbed Tino’s arm. He pulled the willing Finn over to the counter and swept his hand over the display of alcohol as though he were showing off a game show prize. “What’s your poison? I got nearly everything you could want.”

Tino looked over his choices, but there were simply too many. He wanted to try everything but he did not know where to start. “I don’t know,” he answered, and chewed on his thumb nail as he tried to decide where to begin. “I haven’t done much drinking before.”

“What?” Mathias exclaimed, and then grinned even wider. “You have been missing out, my friend. I bet you’ll want to try everything now you have the chance. Where to begin? Anything you know you don’t like?”

“I never liked my parents’ wine,” Tino said, though he knew it was not terribly helpful. 

“Right,” Mathias did not seem discouraged, though. “Probably only let you have the cheap stuff, but we can ignore that for tonight. Let’s just start you off with something easy, shall we? Have a beer, and if you aren’t feeling anything when you’re done we’ll get you started on some mixed drinks.”

Tino grinned and nodded, accepting the bottle that Mathias pressed into his hands eagerly as Eduard looked on with some concern. Mathias, he knew from experience, did not know the meaning of restraint. He would not stop handing out drinks until everyone was gone or he was passed out drunk himself. And Eduard worried about leaving Tino in his hands; Tino who was so eager to make new friends and have new experiences; Tino who probably did not know how to say ‘no’. But Eduard knew he did not have the authority to stop Tino. They were roommates and good friends, but not good enough for this.

At least if Tino got himself drunk enough to regret it in the morning it would be a learning experience. And by now getting drunk at one of Mathias’ parties was probably as much a graduation requirement as passing all their classes.

So Eduard decided to let his roommate have some fun tonight. He would make sure to stay sober enough to get Tino back to their dorm later that night. That was the least he could do.

\----------

Four hours later Tino could barely stand up or hold his plastic cup without spilling. He had gone from beer to shots of tequila and whiskey, a gin and tonic, more drinks that no one could keep track of, and was now nursing some concoction that was part vodka and part fruit juice, but probably mostly vodka.

It was starting to get late and partygoers were beginning to head back to their own rooms in time for curfew. Less than half of the crowd remained at this point. Nicklas, one of the few people who had stayed sober throughout the entire evening, climbed up on top of the coffee table and shouted to get the attention of all the remaining students. “Everyone!” he shouted over the chatter of the crowd, “It is now 11:30. You have half an hour to get back to your rooms. So I suggest you leave now.” 

Immediately after he stopped speaking the majority of the partygoers set down their drinks and headed for the door. The only ones that did not were too drunk to realize what his words meant. One of those was Tino.

“Come on, Tino,” Eduard took hold of his roommate’s arm and slung it over his shoulders. The Finn could barely stand upright and getting him back to their dorm would be a challenge. He just prayed that Tino did not pass out halfway there. 

Tino staggered as Eduard half dragged him out of the apartment. “Why d’we have to go?” he whined, slurring his words. “I’m havin’ fun.” Then he lapsed into Finnish for a few phrases that Eduard only half understood. “Wanna stay.”

“Yes, but it’s time to go home. We have to be in bed in fifteen minutes,” Eduard explained, although it was futile. Tino was past the point of caring about curfews and school rules. Normally being a few minutes late was no big deal, but they were caught drinking that was another story entirely. Tino could get in big trouble for being as drunk as he was. Alcohol was allowed in the rooms of students who were of age, but drinking in excess was not.

Very slowly Eduard began to lead Tino down the stairs. To keep his balance as the wobbly Finn leaned on him, Eduard kept one arm around his roommate and the held tight to the railing. They made it to the bottom of the stairs without incident, but now they had to head back up the hill to the castle. 

And Tino was beginning to nod off.

“You need to stay awake, Tino,” Eduard said as he lead his roommate down the path. But Tino was not listening to him. The Finn dragged his feet and grumbled, alternately holding his arm out to balance himself and rubbing his eyes. They did not make it more than 10 meters before Tino became deadweight, falling into unconsciousness. Unable to hold him up or continue on, Eduard was forced to lower him to the ground. He tried to wake Tino, but the Finn was out cold. 

Eduard cursed to himself and pulled out his cell phone, calling one of the few people he knew was sober and would care enough. “Nicklas,” he said when the call was answered. “It’s Eduard. Tino passed out…. We’re barely past the building. Can you come help me carry him back to the dorm?... That’s fine. Thanks.” He hung up after the conversation ended and sighed. At least he would have a very interesting story to tell Tino in the morning.

Eduard waited for about five minutes, sitting on the sidewalk beside his unconscious roommate and wondering whether he should worry about Tino catching cold. But it was not Nicklas who showed up after all that waiting. It was Berwald.

“Where’s Nicklas?” Eduard asked as he got back up to his feet. 

“Makin’ sure Mathias throws up ‘n the toilet, ‘n not on the floor,” Berwald replied. 

Eduard nodded in understanding and bent to help Berwald pick Tino up off the ground, but the Swede did not give him a chance. Berwald picked Tino up as though he weighed little more than a sack of potatoes, and began walking up the hill. He did it so quickly that it took Eduard a moment to realize what was happening. When his brain had caught up – perhaps he was more tired than he realized – he trotted after Berwald, quickly catching up to the Swede’s long strides. “I can help carry him if you need,” he offered. Berwald always looked somewhat angry or annoyed at the world, and it was impossible for Eduard to tell whether he actually was or not.

“’S not that heavy,” Berwald said blankly and kept walking without even glancing at Eduard. He certainly did not look like he was having any trouble carrying the unconscious Finn, so Eduard shut up and fell into step beside him as they headed up the hill.

It was one minute to midnight when they finally arrived at Eduard and Tino’s dorm room. Berwald waited patiently while Eduard fumbled with his keys to get the door unlocked, then carried Tino over to his bed and set him down.

“You should get going, you’ll be late for curfew,” Eduard said as he watched Berwald. “I can get him from here.”

The Swede glanced over at Eduard and then back down at Tino. The Finn was sound asleep now, his mouth open slightly and snoring softly as he lay atop his sheets, oblivious to the waking world. “Kay,” Berwald agreed, “Make sure ‘e drinks somethin’ when he wakes up. ‘N might wanna leave the garbage by th’ bed.”

Eduard nodded, “I know,” he assured. “I’ve dealt with this before. Thank you for helping, though.”

“Welcome,” Berwald mumbled in reply. “G’night.”

“Night,” Eduard replied, and he watched as the other student turned and walked away. He had known Berwald for a year and he still did not entirely understand him. It was impossible to tell what went on in his mind, and his trouble with English meant he was not very forthcoming with words. At least he was friendly.

He closed the door after Berwald left and then headed back to the bed. Tino was out like a light and probably would not wake until the morning. Eduard did not even try. Instead he just pulled off Tino’s shoes, tossing them into the closet, and maneuvered him under the covers. It was passed midnight by the time Eduard shut off the light and climbed into bed himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialog in languages other than English is expressed in italics.

When Tino woke the next morning he felt as though he had been dragged through town behind a horse. His head throbbed and his throat felt as dry as the Sahara Desert. He tried opening his eyes, but quickly closed them again and instead pulled his pillow over his head with a groan. He had no recollection of coming back to the dorm. He had no recollection of leaving the party. In fact, his memory of the night before ended sometime after his fifth round of drinks.

After laying there in misery for what felt like forever and attempting to go back to sleep so he could wake up when this was all over, Tino decided that it probably was not going to get better. Whimpering softly, he shoved the pillow aside and every so slowly forced his eyes open to face the day.

"You awake?" Eduard asked from the other side of the room. His voice pierced through Tino's head painfully loud.

"Don' shout," the Finn grumbled, and rolled over so his back faced his room mate.

Eduard rolled his eyes and stood up, leaving whatever he had been doing on his laptop. "I'm not shouting," he said, but lowered his voice anyway. "How do you feel?"

"I'm gonna die," Tino bemoaned, and curled up in a tiny ball, all plans for getting out of bed abandoned.

"Congratulations on your first hangover," Eduard patted his roommate's shoulder sympathetically. "If you can sit up I have some painkillers and a glass of water for you. It'll make you feel better."

Tino grumbled unhappily. "Want coffee," he muttered.

"You can go get coffee after you have this," Eduard told him appeasingly. "Come on, sit up. Pills and water are good for hangovers. Trust me."

Tino complained more in broken English, but uncurled and forced himself to sit up. His eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed, with dark circles underneath. His blond hair was a mess, sticking up at all angles. The poor kid looked like death warmed over. With pained eyes he stared at Eduard, but accepted the pill and glass of water that were pressed into his hands. He swallowed the pill and then chugged down the entire glass of water, obviously much thirstier than he realized.

After finishing the water Tino felt leaps and bounds better. Or maybe it was the pill already starting to take effect. "What happened last night…? At the party?" he asked, setting the cup down on his desk.

"You got drunk," Eduard informed him.

"I figured out that much on my own, thanks," Tino muttered, and rubbed his eyes.

"You passed out on the way back," Eduard continued as though Tino had never spoken. "I had to call the others. Berwald carried you here and help get you into bed."

"Berwald?" Tino asked curiously. The tall boy seemed nice, but he did not speak very much. Tino felt as though he hardly knew him even though he was with them at nearly every meal they ate. "I should thank him."

"Yes, you should," Eduard advised, and stood up again. "Now you can go get yourself some coffee if you want."

"You going to come?" Tino asked, slowly climbing out of bed.

"No, I already had breakfast. It's almost ten, you know. Besides, I have homework," Eduard replied.

Tino suddenly remembered that he also had homework to do that day, and made a pained face. Then he grabbed his toiletries and a change of clothes and headed down the hall to the bathroom. He still felt terrible, but maybe a shower would help.

* * *

The shower did not help as much as Tino had hoped. But he did, at least, feel slightly more human after washing off everything from the night before and changing into clean clothes. He still needed coffee, though; and was certain he would feel immeasurably better after he had some.

Trudging down to the dining hall, Tino tried to remember everything he could of the night before. But his memory was just as hazy as it had been when he woke, and thinking too hard made his head ache even worse. Maybe whatever medication Eduard had given him was already starting to wear off, but that was unlikely.

He came into the dining hall on the second level, as he usually did when coming from his dorm, and headed down the spiral stairs, making a b-line for the coffee machines. Tino downed half a cup right there and breathed a happy, caffeine-fueled sigh before he poured himself another cup and then picked up a tray to collect his breakfast. It was not until after his plate was filled that he turned around and took a look at the dining hall. It was sparsely populated, which he supposed was normal for a Sunday morning. He stood on his toes to get a better look, trying to spot someone he knew. He did not want to eat alone, but he did not see anyone he knew.

And then Tino spotted him. Sitting alone at a table by the windows and hunched over his tray of food. Just who Tino needed to see. Although he had hoped to let this particular conversation wait until his hangover was gone. But the opportunity was here now, so why pass it up?

Without hesitation Tino headed over to the table and set down his tray. "Hej," he greeted, attempting to be cheerful.

Berwald must not have heard him approach, because the Swede jumped slightly and looked up at Tino quickly, obviously startled.

" _Sorry,_ " Tino smiled apologetically. " _Can I sit with you?_ "

Berwald blinked at him. For a moment Tino thought that his Swedish might be a lot worse than he thought. Had he said something strange? Or was his accent terrible? Then, slowly, Berwald nodded and sat up slightly straighter in his seat. Tino took this as a good sign, and slid into a chair beside the much taller student. " _Eduard told me what happened last night. How you carried me back_ ," he commented as he sat down. " _Thank you for that._ "

In reply, Berwald only nodded and mumbled a 'you're welcome'. This worried Tino a little bit. He knew Berwald was not very talkative usually, but his perpetual silence and lack of emotion made Tino a little uneasy. " _I-is my Swedish really bad?_ " he asked nervously. " _I'll stop if you want._ " He had thought it was a good chance to practice outside of class.

" _No,_ " Berwald said, and shook his head. " _It's fine. You're… fine._ "

Tino breathed a sigh of relief. " _Oh, good. You had me worried for a minute. But you never talk much, and Mathias said you aren't very good with English, so I thought this might be easier for you._ " Although it turned out to be a bad idea on Tino's part; speaking Swedish took way too much brain power and it was not helping his hangover at all.

" _Thanks,_ " Berwald murmured, and cracked a tiny smile. It was just barely an upward flicker of his lips, but Tino was lucky enough to catch it.

Tino was beginning to get the impression that Berwald just did not talk much in any language. But sitting together in silence was no fun at all. In fact, it made Tino a bit uncomfortable. So he tried to keep the conversation going, even as his headache grew worse by the minute. " _So… Are you really not comfortable with English? My offer still stands, if you want some help. I think I'm pretty good at languages._ " As he spoke, Tino looked back down at his meal and pushed his eggs back and forth across his plate. He was a bit nervous, and not as hungry as he had thought he was.

Berwald looked up from his own meal and across the table at Tino. He was silent for a moment, contemplating his options, or perhaps weighing the pros and cons of accepting Tino as a tutor. Truthfully, it was impossible to tell what was going on in his mind, his expression never changed. " _I'd like that,_ " he answered eventually.

And Tino beamed when he looked up from his plate again. " _Yeah? That's great_ ," he said happily. Maybe he would get the chance to practice his Swedish, too. Although that might be a bit counterproductive for Berwald. For his part, the Swede just nodded and went back to eating. They descended into a slightly awkward silence, but Tino did not have the energy, or the brainpower, to spark up another conversation.

Only after he had finished his meal did Berwald speak up again, asking " _When do you want to start?_ "

It took Tino a moment to realize what he was talking about. Over the course of eating his thoughts had wandered away from potential language tutoring. " _Um… I don't know. Not today. I feel like shit and I have a ton of homework. Can we talk about it tomorrow?_ "

" _Yeah,"_ Berwald replied with a nod. " _That's fine. Whenever you're feeling better."_

Tino did not feel better until well into the afternoon. But he slogged through his assignments as best he could while chugging down water and painkillers to try and combat his headache, which did not dissipate entirely until he and Eduard were headed to dinner.

"I am never going to drink again!" Tino vowed adamantly, pushing his hair back from his face. The fun he had had the night before – or assumed he had had considering he still could not remember most of it – did not seem worth the day of agony he had just experienced.

"That's what they all say," Eduard replied knowingly.

"Don't patronize me," Tino grumbled.

"Sorry," Eduard chuckled. "I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor."

Tino scoffed, sensing the lack of sincerity in his friend's words. But he could not be too upset. He knew Eduard was probably right. Tino had some self control issues. And drinking had been so much fun at the time.

As the boys went into the dining hall Tino tried to take his mind off of it by searching out their friends. As usual, he rose up onto his toes to get a better view of the room, internally cursing his small stature. When he did not find anyone he turned back to Eduard, only to discover his roommate's attention directed to the other side of the room. "Eduard?" he asked, trying to get the other boy's attention back while simultaneously trying to figure out what he was watching so avidly. And then he spotted the girl at the top of the stairs.

She was not Tino's type, but he could certainly see how she might be Eduard's. A bit mousy, with her brown hair tied into a loose braid and glasses perched on her nose. "She's cute," he said with a knowing smile, and nudged Eduard in the ribs.

Immediately Eduard tore his gaze away, blushing. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said quickly.

"You were staring," Tino chuckled. "Who is she?"

Eduard stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at the wall as they passed her on their way to the stairs. Only when he was sure she was out of earshot did he speak. "She's been in some of my classes. Another business student. From somewhere in France, I think."

"You've never talked to her, have you?" Tino asked.

"I have," Eduard said defensively, but his confidence faded in a minute. "In class…"

With a sigh Tino patted his friend on the shoulder sympathetically. He did not exactly understand what Eduard was surely feeling, but he knew it must be terrible and he hoped never to feel it himself. But then he spotted their friends and waved to them as he got in line to get his food. A few minutes later Tino slid into a chair beside Nicklas, who was sitting with Mathias; already well into their own meal.

"I heard you had a fun morning," the Norwegian commented.

Tino winced, his memories of the hangover still far too fresh. "Berwald told you?"

"Yes," Nicklas nodded in confirmation. "Although it would not have been hard to guess, given last night. I also hear you'll be tutoring him."

"That's the plan," Tino replied with a small sheepish smile. For some reason it felt like a silly idea when he discussed it to someone else. "But I'm not sure I'd call it tutoring. More like extra practice."

Mathias looked over at them with a raised eyebrow. "Extra practice?" he asked, "Everyone here speaks English; everything we do is extra practice."

"Berwald's shy," Tino said, frowning a bit, "He's probably too scared to talk to a lot of people," he guessed. "By the way, where is he?" It had not escaped his notice that the Swede was not here. During the past week the three roommates had been practically inseparable outside of class.

"He is too good for us," Mathias replied dramatically, which earned him a hard elbow to the ribs from Nicklas.

"He is finishing up some homework," the Norwegian corrected. "We are bringing him back something."

"Does he have a lot of homework?" Tino asked in concern, worried that Berwald seemed to be taking a long time to finish if he was not done by now.

Nicklas shrugged. "No more than usual. He is just taking a long time; said something about not being able to concentrate."

"Oh," Tino smiled and breathed a small sigh of relief. "That's good. The first week of school is always the hardest. Maybe he's having trouble getting back into routine."

"Something like that," Nicklas replied.

* * *

The next few days passed uneventfully, but Tino did not get a chance to talk to Berwald about their agreed tutoring sessions. It was not something he wanted to talk to with all the others around, and he was quickly discovering that the first week's workload was nothing compared to what the teachers were laying on now. He was beginning to see why so many students did not last more than a year here.

At dinner time on Wednesday Tino wandered into the dining hall after his classes were over. He was tired and hungry and had not even bothered to drop off his books at his dorm yet. With his bag still slung over one shoulder and his tie loosened he got himself a tray of food and found somewhere to sit. He had not even bothered to look for anyone to sit with, he just wanted to eat and take a nap before doing his homework. So he was surprised, and not entirely pleased, when someone sat down in the seat next to him.

There were very few people that Tino was willing to talk to right now. As he looked up the Finn was ready to curse out whoever had made the bad decision to sit next to him, only to have the words die on his tongue. "Berwald," was all that came out instead.

"Hej," the Swede replied as he made himself comfortable. Then he glanced over at Tino and his brow furrowed even more than usual. "Y' look tired," he commented.

Tino sighed and stared at him pitifully, almost relieved that someone seemed to understand. "I have so much work this week," he bemoaned, "How do you manage it?"

"Get used t' it," Berwald replied with a shrug.

"I hope I can," Tino groaned softly, and turned back to his meal. He had poured himself a large cup of coffee to fuel himself through the homework he had to do later. In one gulp he downed half of it. Then he turned back to Berwald. "Oh, we still need to talk about that tutoring you wanted."

"Ja," Berwald nodded and Tino realized that was probably the entire reason he had sat down here. "Whenever you're free."

"This week has been so insane I feel like I'll never be free," Tino sighed thoughtfully. "Um… How about we just have lunch together sometime? Or dinner on Saturday? I might be less of a mess then."

Berwald blushed a tiny bit, but Tino was too focused on his coffee to notice. "Saturday's good," he mumbled. "'f your not goin' t' Mathias' party."

"I don't think so," Tino laughed, "I haven't forgotten about my last hangover yet. I think I'll avoid this week just to be safe."

That was probably a good idea, Berwald thought, but did not say. And he certainly was not going to argue against spending Saturday night with Tino. "Saturday, then," he confirmed, giving a tiny, almost imperceptible smile.

"Saturday," Tino nodded and smiled back, then turned back to his meal and continued eating. He fell back into Swedish as they chatted after that, taking the opportunity to get in some practice for himself while he was not supposed to be helping Berwald.

" _You should have been a linguistics student_ ," Berwald commented when they were finished, taking their empty trays back to the kitchen.

" _Yeah?_ " Tino asked, a little surprised, but also somewhat flattered by the obvious compliment. " _I don't know. I think if I knew more than three languages I would get them confused. I already get English and Swedish confused sometimes_." He did not think he was that good at the various languages he spoke. And if he was, it was only because he had been learning them his whole life.

That was a fair point, Berwald had to admit. But the Swede struggled with just two languages, so he was very impressed by Tino's apparent ease with three. Then he realized he had never even heard Tino speak Finnish. Had he used it at all since coming here? Berwald did not even know if there were any other Finnish students. There must have been a language tutor, though, he assumed.

Leaving the dining hall the pair was forced to part ways. " _I'll probably see you tomorrow,_ " Tino commented, pulling his book bag up higher on his shoulder as he smiled up at his friend.

" _Yeah,_ " Berwald agreed,  _"Good luck on your homework._ "

" _Thanks, I'll need it,_ " Tino replied with a short laugh.

They said their goodnights, and then turned away from each other, both in a much better mood than when they had arrived.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Precarious

 **Rating:** PG13

 **Pairing:** Sweden/Finland

 **Summary:** Away from home at boarding school it’s very easy to forget about the rest of the world. But Tino Väinämöinen is about to learn that being away from home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and that people keep secrets even from those they love the most. Gakuen Hetalia AU

\----------

By the time Tino got out of his classes in the evening he was starving. This was in fact a fairly normal occurrence for him. He got out of class later than most other students because of his extra course, and had to go four hours after lunch without a thing to eat before he was finally free at six o’clock in the evening. As he had expected at the beginning of the year, Tino regretted his overzealous schedule.

This usually meant the Finn headed straight to the dining hall after his last class in order to put something in his rumbling stomach. But this Saturday night saw a change in his routine. This evening, when Tino got out of class, he headed out of the main building and down the hill toward the apartment buildings below, because today he had scheduled his first tutoring session with Berwald. He was no less hungry than usual, and that quickened his steps as he trotted down the steep slope, taking stairs two at a time as he climbed up to the second floor of building number three. While he waited for someone to answer the door Tino loosened his tie, pulling the knot free just as the door swung open.

“Hej,” Tino chimed happily, smiling up at his gracious host. Berwald had answered the door, though that was no surprise, Mathias and Nicklas were almost certainly in the dining hall enjoying their own dinner. Part of Tino wished he was there too.

The larger boy ushered him inside and Tino was more than happy to step into the apartment. The last time he was here was for Mathias’ party, and he had not been able to get a good look at the place through the crowd and though the cloud of alcohol that covered his memories of that evening. Not that it was much to look at. The standard cheap dorm room furniture in the living room, worn and stained, everything extremely simple and utilitarian, and especially sparse. “Hungry?” Berwald asked as he shut the door.

“Yes, very,” Tino answered. “Do you have anything to eat?”

Berwald just nodded and turned to lead him into the kitchen. Although, it was not much of a kitchen - just a microwave oven, a small refrigerator, a sink and a hot plate – but it was better than nothing, and allowed for limited cooking endeavors. Berwald had the hot plate fired up and a small pot set on top of it; possibly the largest pot that would fit on it. “What are you making?” Tino asked curiously as he dropped his book bag onto the very small table that separated the kitchen from the living room. “Can I help?”

“Pasta,” Berwald replied, opening a cabinet above the sink to pull out a bag of dry noodles and an unopened jar of red sauce. These he set on the counter as he filled the pot with water and started the noodles cooking.

Twenty minutes later the two boys were seated at the small table, each with a bowl of pasta and a glass of milk in front of them. "You know," Tino commented as he swallowed a bite of his meal. "Considering how this was cooked, it's pretty good."

"Tack," Berwald murmured, glancing up at him briefly before turning back to his own meal. "Mathias'll be back soon f'r the party," he commented, "We sh'uld leave soon if y' don' wanna get dragged into it."

Tino hummed in agreement, nodding as he chewed and then swallowed. "Good idea. I'm not eager to have another hangover like last week. Should we go to the library?" It would doubtless be barren on a Saturday night, so they would not be bothered and have their privacy. And that was important if he was going to get Berwald to talk more. The other boy seemed self-conscious of his language ability only when he was in front of a lot of people.

"Ja," Berwald agreed, "That's fine."

\----------

Mathias and Nicklas returned just as Berwald and Tino were finishing their meal and washing up the dishes. Mathias grinned when he spotted them and immediately headed over. "Well, well, is this where you two were hiding? Having a private dinner? People will start to talk," he said, and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Berwald punched him in the arm.

"Berwald and I are studying," Tino countered easily, appearing completely unfazed by the Dane's insinuations. "We're going to head to the library soon."

"You're not staying for the party?" Mathias pouted. "But Tino, I thought you had fun last week. We almost could not get you to leave."

"Some people find school more important than partying," Nicklas butted in as he came into the kitchenette to pour himself a glass of water. "I am glad someone at this school cares about their education."

"Educations are boring," Mathias complained. "And it is Saturday night. You're supposed to party tonight, not do school."

"Maybe I'll come next week," Tino said in order to placate the other student. "Berwald and I already made plans for tonight."

"Fine, fine," Mathias sighed dramatically and waved it off. "Berwald is never any fun anyway. I am sure no one will miss you."

The Swede frowned, but did not dignify that statement with a response. Partly because he knew it to be true. Mathias was known for throwing a party almost every weekend, but Berwald was not suited for parties and spent most of them holed up in the bedroom or the library anyway. At least this week he was not holed up alone.

Tino snatched his bag off the table and took a few steps toward the door before he stopped and turned around to face the others. "Berwald are you ready to go?" he asked.

Berwald nodded, and hurried back into the bedroom to grab his own bag, then followed Tino to the door and out into the darkening night. The sun was dipping low in the sky but there was still plenty of light for them to walk by and the streetlights on the path up to the main building were not even on yet. They made their way back up the hill in silence, pausing at the top so Tino could catch his breath for a moment. It was not a long walk, but a steep hill and a small workout for those who were not used to it. After a moment of rest Tino started on again and they headed into the castle.

The library was on the second floor beside the dining hall. Beyond the heavy doors lay a long wide room lined floor to ceiling with bookshelves packed full of books. Several ladders leaned against the walls in order to facilitate the acquisition of books on higher shelves, each marked with a sign warning students to keep off and ask a librarian for assistance. In addition to the bookshelves lining the walls more rows of stacks ran down the center of the room, shelves higher than Tino was tall. Beside the door was the circulation desk, where sat one of the school librarians, a middle aged woman with mousy hair and conservative wardrobe; very stereotypical. When they entered she glanced up briefly from the book she was reading and flashed them a smile, which Tino gladly returned.

There were various study areas scattered throughout the library. Clusters of chairs situated by the high windows and a row of study tables, each as big as a dining room table, on each side of the freestanding shelves. As expected, the library was deserted when Tino and Berwald got there, giving them free reign of the area, and Tino quickly headed toward the back of the library where they would be out of sight and out of earshot of the librarian. About halfway down he glanced over at Berwald and asked “Where do you want to sit?”

The Swede just shrugged. “Don’ care,” he replied. “You chose.”

Tino frowned a bit. “Well… I mean, do you think we need a table? Or will just chairs do?”

“Just chairs,” Berwald replied after a short moment of thought. He did not know what Tino had in mind for their tutoring sessions, but if Tino was not certain they needed a table, then he probably did not plan on using their textbooks much.

But truth be told, Tino had absolutely nothing planned for the tutoring session. From his two weeks worth of knowing and talking to Berwald he had come to the conclusion that the other boy’s grasp of the English language was actually perfectly fine. As good as could be expected at least, and he probably did well on his language tests. He was just unconfident in his speaking ability, maybe self-conscious or embarrassed of his accent. And the only way to remedy that was to get him speaking more often until he got over that self-consciousness.

Tino found them a nook to sit in beside a window between two tall bookshelves and settled himself into a comfortable armchair to enjoy the last vestiges of sunlight. From here if he craned his neck he could see the librarian sitting at her desk, leaning back in her chair and reading a book. It was probably a very boring job to be working in the school library on a Saturday night, and he felt a bit of pity for her. Berwald sat down in a chair beside Tino and dropped his bag onto the floor, startling the Finn out of his thoughts. “So… I do not have any plans for today,” Tino admitted sheepishly. “I’ve never tutored anyone before, so I don’t really know what I’m doing. But I’ve been paying attention to your speech all week, and I think you just need more practice. I don’t think book lessons are going to help you much anymore. So for now, let’s just talk.”

“Kay,” Berwald murmured softly. But he was not very good at talking even in his native tongue; he was not a talkative person by nature, unlike Tino. So he had no idea where to start if Tino just wanted to listen to him talk. “What ‘bout?” he asked.

“Anything,” Tino replied with a smile. “What you did today, where you’re from. Oh!” suddenly he had a good idea and sat up a little straighter in his chair. “Tell me why you wanted to come to this school.”

Berwald was silent for a while. He had to think about that, and not just because he did not know how to properly express it in English. His reasons for applying to this school were complicated, and perhaps not the best intentioned. “Wanted to get ‘way from home,” he replied after a while, speaking slowly and softly. “Be on m’own for a while. Looked at a lot ‘f schools like this, ‘n applied to a lot of ‘em, also.” As he spoke Tino listened intently, leaning forward slightly in his seat. “Got into this one ‘n a couple others,” the Swede murmured thoughtfully. “Almost didn’t get t’ come here ‘cause of the cost.”

Tino nodded in understanding. The travel costs alone to get from northern Europe to here at least twice a year were enough to turn many families away. “But obviously you worked something out,” he said, hoping it would prompt Berwald to continue.

“Ja,” Berwald replied. “Worked all summer t’earn ‘nough for the plane ticket. Told m’ parents I’d pay t’ get here if they’d pay f’r the school itself.”

“So you… You pay all your own travel expenses?” Tino asked in surprise.

“Ja,” Berwald confirmed. “Work all summer an’ make enough t’ go home for Christmas ‘n some spending money, but that’s it.”

“Wow, that’s… really admirable,” Tino said, still stunned by this revelation. He wondered if any other students were paying for their education out of their own pockets, or if that was even possible. “Why did you decide to come here then, instead of somewhere less expensive?”

Berwald just shrugged. “Really liked the school,” he said simply. He had no reason more than that. And did he truly need one?

“Well… is it worth it?” Tino asked. It seemed like a lot of work on top of what they already had to do in school. He imagined it was quite stressful.

But Berwald answered without hesitation. “Yes,” he said emphatically, or what Tino imagined was emphatically for Berwald, who did not express his emotions very well.

And Tino was still surprised, shocked in fact. Berwald must really like this school to go to all that work just to attend. The Finn could not fathom being so devoted to his education at a specific school, even if he had applied to this one three times. Berwald could have easily chosen somewhere closer to home, or with less expensive fees, and not have had to put himself through that. After this revelation he did not quite know what to say.

“What ‘bout you?” Berwald asked, attempting to keep the conversation going, as well as genuinely curious. Students came to this school for a number of reasons, and he wondered what Tino’s was.

“Me?” Tino asked in surprise, he was startled that Berwald thought to ask. “I … Well I wanted to meet new people, and I wanted to travel, and I wanted to study international relations. I just… Wanted some new experiences, you know?” he shrugged. “I actually,” he cut himself off with a small, sheepish laugh, “I actually applied two time before I got in. I don’t know what I was doing wrong in those first applications, but I guess they liked my determination because here I am.”

Here he was indeed. And Berwald could not think of any reason he should not be. He was actually quite glad that Tino had been admitted. The Swede got on well with his classmates, roommates and his few friends, but no one before had gone out of their way to befriend him and spend time with him the way Tino was. Tino seemed to make friends easily, and Berwald was somewhat jealous of that.

“M’glad you’re here,” Berwald mumbled, almost too embarrassed to say it out loud, and his cheeks turned slightly pink. Tino was very quickly becoming one of his favorite people simply because the Finn had taken an interest in him.

But if Tino noticed the hidden meaning behind those words it did not show. The smaller boy merely smiled softly and agreed, “Me too. So, um… What else should we talk about? How are your classes going?”

Berwald was also impressed by how easily Tino was able to continue the conversation when their current toped had reached a lull. “Good so far,” he murmured in reply.

“You’re a history student, right? Like Nicklas,” Tino continued. “Do you two have any classes together?”

“Ja,” Berwald replied, “Nin’teenth century Europe ‘n writin’ for history.”

“Sounds interesting,” Tino hummed thoughtfully. He found history fascinating, although he was much more interested in what was going on right now, rather than what had happened hundreds of years ago. But he certainly admired anyone who could devote their lives to studying that sort of thing. “So, what do you plan do after you graduate?” he asked. The thing that had always bothered him about the history track was that he had no idea what the students did with their schooling afterwards. Was being a history student beneficial in any way?

“Not sure,” Berwald replied with a shrug. “Gonna go on t’ univers’ty,” he assured, “Might stay with history ‘n might not.”

“You mean you haven’t thought about it?” Tino asked in surprise. But the whole point of coming to a school like this was to jumpstart a career, was it not? Tino may not have known exactly what he wanted to do after this, and after university, but he knew he wanted to travel places and meet and work with people from all over the world. He knew Eduard wanted to work for a big international company, or maybe start his own. Did Berwald really have no plan for his future yet?

“Thought ‘bout it lots,” Berwald replied. “Just… can’t decide.”

“What do you mean?” Tino asked in confusion.

Berwald paused and stared out the window, brow furrowed in concentration as he considered his answer. Tino could see that this was taxing his English abilities, and while part of him felt somewhat guilty for making him answer such a hard question, that was the whole point of their being here. So it should be a good thing that Berwald was pushing the boundaries of his linguistic abilities. "There's lotta things I wanna do," Berwald replied. "Never wanted anythin' complicated. Jus'... find a job somewhere 'n live there forever," he shrugged slightly and looked back at Tino to see if the Finn was following what he was saying. Tino just nodded and silently urged him to continue. "Where's not important... 'cept 'm not good at languages," he added, implying that back home in Sweden was probably an ideal location. "An' long 's I'm happy I don' care what 'm doin'."

Tino nodded thoughtfully and took a long moment to let that information sink it. Some would probably say that Berwald had life figured out. Happiness was more important than a fancy job at a big company in a famous city. But Berwald's lack of conviction and forethought made Tino wonder, not for the first time, what he was doing at this school. Berwald was not like the other students, all driven by a nearly unachievable goal. And here was Berwald, who worked harder than any of them just to be here, and he could end up doing something entirely unrelated to his schooling here. It was almost paradoxical to think about.

"Then... Wherever you go, I hope you end up happy," Tino murmured, a smile crossing his face. It was actually refreshing to hear something talk like this. Berwald was just unconcerned with the world as a whole. Tino felt like he just did and said only what was necessary but somewhere inside his head there were a thousand unspoken thoughts and feelings.

\----------

Tino and Berwald stayed in their corner of the library chatting amicably until eleven thirty that night, when the librarian came over to kick them out so she could close the library, and so they would not miss curfew. The entire time they had been the only ones in the library, although that was not surprising on a Saturday night; the only night on which they did not have to worry about school in the morning.

They left the library accompanied by the shutting off of lights and stepped out into the hall just before the librarian came out and locked the door, barring them from the room until the next morning. "Well," Tino said with a smile, adjusting his book bag and wrapping his arms around himself as they paused in the chilly upstairs hallway. "I guess we should get to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, probably."

"Ja," Berwald agreed. Outside it was pitch black. Through the high windows he could see into the castle's inner courtyard, lit dimly by a handful of lights mounted on the walls and from the dim light coming from inside the building. The halls were dimmed in expectation of lights out, although the major halls of the school were never completely dark. "See y' tomorrow," Berwald murmured, and the two shared a lazy wave as Tino turned and headed down the hall toward the dormitories. Berwald watched him go until he turned a corner and could not be seen anymore, and then he turned around and headed the opposite direction, downstairs and off toward the apartments. On the path back down the hill he passed a handful of students enjoying the last few minutes of their night out, some drunk, and one couple making out on the grass where they doubtless thought no one could see them.

Berwald did not particularly envy them. He was the sort to enjoy big, loud parties full of drunken teenagers and obnoxious music. He had, in fact, quite enjoyed his quiet evening spent with Tino in the library, and he hoped they might do it again. Although, given how social he knew Tino to be, he expected the Finn would one day want to attend one of those parties again. But he could deal with that. Berwald did not mind putting up with that every now and then if it meant he could spend even a few more Saturday nights in Tino's pleasant company, it was better than spending every weekend holed up in his room alone.

When Berwald got back to his apartment the last dredges of the party were leaving, staggering past him down the steps. Inside he found the usual chaos, the mess left by careless party goers that he and Nicklas inevitably had to clean up the next morning. Mathias would never clean it, he would be too hung over and complaining too much about his headache and his homework. It was not worth the effort to try and force him to work. The Dane in question was currently passed out on the sofa, which was unusual. He was usually still up and kicking and had to be persuaded to go to bed by his two roommates. Nicklas he found in the kitchen, dropping empty alcohol bottles into a bulging trash bag. "What happened t' Mathias?" he asked curiously.

"Drinking contest with Gilbert," Nicklas replied without looking up from his task. "He lost."

Berwald winced. That meant there would be even more complaining from the Dane the next morning. He only hoped Gilbert would not brag too much about his victory, although he knew that was unlikely. It would probably be the talk of the school the next day, and possibly the next week until Mathias had a chance to redeem himself.

“Want help?” Berwald asked, gesturing to the trash bag that Nicklas was now packing full of paper cups along with the empty bottles.

“No, I am almost done,” the Norwegian assured him. “How was your date?”

“Wasn’t a date,” Berwald insisted, but the pink that dusted his cheeks said otherwise.

“Whatever you say,” Nicklas replied with a shrug, and tied closed the now full garbage bag. “You like him.”

“Only known ‘im two weeks,” Berwald argued, still blushing faintly.

“And yet you are spending all of Saturday night with him. And blushing when I suggest it was a date,” Nicklas said.

For that Berwald had no easy come back, because it was true. But he had no explanation for why he was blushing. He and Tino most certainly were not dating, and he doubted the idea had even crossed the Finn’s mind. It was just tutoring, although there was nothing academic about it sitting in the library and talking about their dreams for the future.

Nicklas stopped what he was doing and stood up straight, turning his blank gaze to the taller student. “So you do not deny it?”

Berwald’s usual frown deepened even further. “Still only known ‘im two weeks,” he pointed out.

Nicklas shrugged again, but let the topic drop. And Berwald was glad that he had because before now he had not considered their evening a date, either. And he had not considered his feelings for Tino anything greater than friendship. It was still nothing more than friendship. Okay, yes, Tino was cute, and very nice, and there were certainly a lot of people who were worse options for a date. It was not a distasteful idea, but it was not true. And anyway, what would Tino want with someone like him?

\----------

Tino was back in his room only minutes after leaving the library. After all, he only had to walk down the hall; it was a very short trek. Opening the door, he found Eduard already there, hunched over his computer as usual. The neon numbers on their shared alarm clock blinked over to eleven thirty six as Tino dropped his bag down on his desk chair. “Boring evening?” the Finn asked.

“Quiet,” Eduard replied. “How was your date?”

Tino rolled his eyes. “It was a tutoring session, I told you.”

“On a Saturday night?” Eduard asked, turning to his room mate with a raised eyebrow.

“It was the only time we had free,” Tino argued. “And it’s not like there’s anything else to do around here. What did you do?”

“Called my parents,” Eduard replied, with absolutely no shame, “And played Warcraft.”

Tino laughed. “See, at least I was talking to real people.”

“My parents are real people,” Eduard argued.

“They’re your parents,” Tino said pointedly.

“Okay, fine, they don’t count,” Eduard relented. “Still, you have to admit spending your Saturday night alone with Berwald is a little suspicious. Everyone will be gossiping.”

“No they won’t,” Tino insisted. “No one even knows except you and Berwald.”

“And Mathias,” Eduard pointed out.

Tino groaned. “He wouldn’t. He’s not that mean. Besides, he has to live with Berwald. Imagine how bad that could turn out for him. Did you go to the party at all?”

“No,” Eduard shook his head and shut off his computer, standing up to get ready for bed. “Why would I even want to go?”

“What if your girlfriend was there?” Tino teased, laughing.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Eduard snapped back.

Tino chuckled softly. “Sorry, sorry,” he said gently, placating the other boy. “Have you even talked to her?”

“I have some classes with her,” Eduard replied.

“Have you ever talked to her outside of class?” Tino asked.

Eduard was about to claim that he had, but what was the point? He sighed and hung his head, feeling pathetic. “No,” he mumbled.

Tino gave him a sympathetic smile and patted him on the shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll have the courage someday.”

“She’s just so far out of my league,” Eduard bemoaned.

Tino shrugged and went over to his dresser to begin changing into his pajamas. “What makes you say that? If she’s a business student then she must be smart, like you. Smart girls usually like nerdy boys, don’t they?”

Eduard gave him a beleaguered stare. “I just spent my Saturday night playing World of Warcraft,” he reminded.

Tino laughed again and shrugged. “Maybe she thinks that’s sexy. Maybe she was also playing it. Maybe you were talking to her already! You never know.”

“That’s too many maybes,” Eduard said.

“Eduard, I’m serious,” Tino paused with his shirt halfway off and turned around to face his room mate. “If you’ve never even talked to her how do you know she’s out of your league? Just because she’s pretty? And smart? You’re smart. And you’re pretty cute, too.”

“What?” Eduard stammered in surprise.

“What?” Tino repeated, unaware of what he had done that might be offensive.

“You think I’m cute?” Eduard asked in disbelief.

Tino hesitated, realizing he might have overstepped his boundaries. He and Eduard had never talked about his sexuality before, it had never come up, and suddenly he worried that with this single ill thought out comment he might change their whole friendship. “Yes?” he replied hesitantly. “I mean… In a totally objective way… You’re not my type, and you’re my best friend, so…”

Eduard was quite for a while after Tino had trailed off, and the silence between them was one of the most awkward and nerve wracking that Tino had ever felt. “Oh… Well, thanks… I guess…” He eventually replied hesitantly. “So, uh… What is your type?”

Pleasantly surprised with Eduard’s reaction, Tino decided that he might not have screwed things up as badly as he feared. “I’m not sure,” he replied. “I’ve never had a crush on anyone before, except celebrities.”

“But it’s not me?” Eduard asked.

“No,” Tino assured him.

“Well that’s good,” Eduard said with a shrug, “Because you’re not my type either.”

And Tino laughed as the tension between them was broken with that one simple phrase. “Why not?” He asked, still chuckling softly even as he pretended to be offended. “I’m so cute, all the girls would be jealous. And the boys, too.”

Eduard laughed as well. “I’m sorry, I just don’t like girls with flat chests.”

Tino gasped and clapped a hand to his chest in mock offence. “How rude!” he proclaimed. “The doctors say I’m just a late bloomer,” he huffed, and turned away from Eduard to finish changing.

Eduard burst out laughing, both at Tino’s rather terrible play acting and at the mental image of his Finnish roommate with breasts. It was not a good image.  Then a sudden knock at the door startled them both out of their laughter and the voice of a teacher called through the wood, “Lights out! Time for bed!”

“Yes!” Tino called back. “Sorry.”

Both boys were dead silent until they heard footsteps moving away from the door, and then suddenly they were a rush of motion, quickly changing into their pajamas and hopping into bed, Tino flicking out the light on his way. “This is your fault,” Eduard said in a hushed whisper.

“Be quiet,” Tino whispered back, “You started it.”

“I did not!” the Estonian argued as he climbed into bed, taking off his glasses and setting them atop his computer on the desk.

“Did so!” Tino argued back, and flopped down onto his side, pulling the blankets up to his chin.

“You’re just jealous of my good looks,” Eduard huffed quietly.

“Liar. You’re jealous of my ability to talk to people of the opposite sex,” Tino countered easily.

“Your mother doesn’t count,” Eduard informed him.

“Does your mother?” Tino asked smugly.

“Touché,” Eduard replied quietly, and the two boys fell silent, finally settling down to sleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

In the next weeks, life at Hetalia International Academy continued on more or less the way it had before. Tino was slowly beginning to grow more used to the amount of school work that they were handed, and more used to life around the school. He found that if he spent a little extra time doing school work in the early days of the week he had more spare time near the weekend. This was good, because he hoped that at some point he might have a Sunday free of worry to go and explore the town. It was the only feasible day on which they could leave campus and hope to do anything enjoyable before they had to be back in time for curfew.

His tutoring lessons with Berwald were continuing regularly, one day a week at least, either over their lunch break, or in the evening. Most of the time they spent talking about anything and everything that they could think of. Although Tino occasionally helped Berwald with his homework when there were concepts that he was not quite able to grasp when explained in English. The help went both ways, as well. When Tino had been assigned a short essay for his Swedish class he had Berwald look it over for him, catching any small errors that Tino had made, and one rather glaring error that Tino was later quite embarrassed about.

Outside, the temperature was slowly dropping, the days gradually shorter as autumn came to the school and its small town, and now winter was looming on the horizon. Over a month into the school year now and it was by far the longest time Tino had spent away from home. There were times when he felt homesick, missed his mother's cooking or the landscapes of his home, or the sauna. But he was still happy here, not nearly homesick enough to regret his decision. It certainly helped that Eduard missed many of the same things, and that his roommate could sometimes understand broken Finnish. Being able to slip occasionally into his mother tongue, and listen to Eduard do the same in Estonian, was a relief when he spent the majority of his time forced to speak English and Swedish; both languages were far removed from his native and often caused him difficulty, although he did a good job of hiding it.

It was during one of their "tutoring" sessions - although they could hardly be called that anymore - that Berwald brought up this topic. "D' you miss anything 'bout home?" he asked curiously. Home was not something that they talked about often. Usually it was how things were going in school, which teacher had assigned too much work or expected too much of them. So Tino was surprised by the question.

"Yes, I miss a lot," the Finn answered after a moment of silence. He was hesitant to talk about this. Homesickness was a bit taboo to discuss; it was a sign of weakness among the students, although he was certain that everyone felt it from time to time. "This place is a lot different from home. The buildings, the people, even the food and the weather."

Berwald hummed in agreement. He remembered feeling some culture shock during the beginning of his first year here, and he was sure everyone felt the same, to differing degrees. "Me too," he replied.

"Really?" Tino asked, and cocked his head to the side curiously. "What do you miss?"

Berwald stared down at his hands, hesitant to answer because he was always shy about talking about his feelings. And this was already something that students did not talk about openly. But other than he and Tino there was no one else around, so he thought it was safe. "Kottbullar," he replied after a moment.

"Meatballs?" Tino asked in surprise, and chuckled softly.

"They don' make 'em right here," Berwald said with a small frown.

"No," Tino agreed that they probably did not, although he did not know what Berwald would classify as a proper meatball. "I miss Salmiakki," he commented. "And saunas."

Both of those might as well be alien concepts as far as some of the other students were concerned, so Berwald certainly understood why Tino would miss them. Salmiakki was probably obtainable online, or shipped to him by his parents, but a sauna was completely out of the question. Berwald had no idea how Tino might recreate something like that. "What 'bout your parents?" the Swede asked hesitantly, "Or yer friends?"

Tino hesitated to answer, but he did not think Berwald would judge him if he told the honest truth. "I miss my parents sometimes, but I talk to them a lot online. Eduard lets me use his webcam. And I... I never had very many friends back home. I don't talk to anyone, but I don't miss them."

"Really?" Berwald asked in surprise. But Tino made friends here so easily. He was actually rather popular; friendly and easy to get along with. He was friends with lots of people, even if he spent most of his time with their much smaller group of friends. "Though you'd have lots 'f friends."

"You do?" Tino was also surprised. "Oh, I guess I have a lot of friends here, don't I? But it wasn't like that at home. I'm from a really small town, remember?" That was something they had talked about before, albeit only briefly. "And I was never like the other kids. I got along with them, but we were never close friends. I don't know why."

That was very curious, and Berwald wondered why. He failed to see why anyone would not want to be friends with Tino. He had thought, when they started this whole tutoring thing, that they would run out of things to talk about quickly. He had thought Tino would tire of his presence and decide to call the whole thing off. But here they were. And they were still calling it tutoring, even though both of them knew that was just an excuse to hang out without anyone else around. Berwald felt a lot more comfortable with just Tino around. He was never good in large groups, or in public spaces. And that was, actually, one of the reasons Tino kept scheduling their private meetings. He found Berwald very interesting, and fun to talk to when he could coax words out of the Swede's mouth. It was quite a chore sometimes. Words did not come out of Berwald easily. No, they fought their way out kicking and screaming and usually mangled by the struggle.

Except in Swedish.

Berwald spoke beautiful Swedish. He spoke it so perfectly that Tino sometimes had to convince himself to continue this charade of tutoring because he would much rather listen to Berwald speak Swedish than hear him stumble and stutter over English. But he was still convinced that with more practice Berwald's English skills would improve, although there was still no sign of that. No, Berwald's accent was as thick as ever; his spoken vocabulary not as good as it could be. He was much better in writing, probably because he had more time to think about the words he used, a luxury that did not exist in conversation.

* * *

"How was your date?" Eduard asked when Tino walked back into their room after his latest 'tutoring' session. It was a Thursday night, and not even ten o'clock, which was much earlier than Tino was usually back from his meetings.

"Stop calling it that," Tino grumbled, and not for the first time. Eduard still insisted on referring to his meetings with Berwald as dates, no matter how vehemently Tino denied that they were such or denied that he had any sort of romantic feelings for the other boy. The Finn found it incredibly aggravating, and at least a little bit embarrassing.

"But it's so fun when you over react. I need to get entertainment somehow," Eduard replied with an elusive smile and a shrug.

"You have about a thousand movies, watch one of those. Why do you need to embarrass me?" Tino whined softly.

"I've seen those movies a thousand times. You are new and exciting, and different every time," Eduard informed him. "And I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks you two are secretly dating."

"Eduard, I would tell you if I were secretly dating," Tino said flatly. "You know I'm not. Stop feeding the rumors."

"If you told me it wouldn't be a secret," Eduard argued.

"Yes it would," Tino argued back, "Because if you tell anyone my secrets I will kill you in your sleep."

Eduard chuckled softly, leaning back in his chair. "I know you are not secretly dating. But half the school does. And you let them think it; so secretive about your meetings."

"That's because Berwald is shy," Tino insisted. He did not know how many times he had explained this by now. "He's embarrassed to speak in front of other people."

"But not in front of you," Eduard pointed out. "You have to admit, it's more than a little suspect. Can you really blame them? We do not get much other entertainment around here. Besides, the girls think you're a cute couple."

Tino groaned and rolled his eyes. "My life is fulfilled," he muttered sarcastically, "The girls think we're a cute couple. Why don't we go get married right now?"

Eduard laughed again. But as much as he teased he was sympathetic. It was probably quite aggravating to be the source of so much gossip. "Maybe you should spend less time hiding in the library and have your meetings in the courtyard, or the dining hall," he suggested, attempting to be helpful. "It's because you are always disappearing together that they talk."

"Maybe," Tino murmured thoughtfully. "I'll ask Berwald about it."

It was quickly becoming too cold to spend a lot of time sitting around outside, however. So that ruled out the option of holding their meetings in the courtyard. Tino was disappointed when he realized this, because he found that far more appealing than tutoring in the dining hall. The dining hall was noisy, always full of other students who were likely to interrupt them, or at the very least overhear them. Berwald was never very talkative in the dining hall.

The courtyard was at least somewhat more private, usually less populated unless the weather was very good, and the tables spaced further apart. But it was nearly November and winter loomed on the horizon. Already temperatures were dropping toward freezing and even Tino was not crazy enough to spend his leisure time sitting around outside this late in the year.

For the rest of the week Tino considered various other places they could meet; places that were not dorm rooms or libraries. But there simply were not many other options. Classrooms were off limits while classes were not in session except for meeting with teachers, there was simply no space in hallways, and all the other options were just as suspect, if not more so, than their usual meeting spots.

So things would have to stay the same for now. At least the rumors could not get worse.

When lunchtime Saturday rolled around Tino realized this had been weighing on his mind for the better part of a week. He worried about too many things when it came to Berwald, the Finn realized with a frown. Worried about the gossip, worried about when they would have time to meet again, worried about whether it was actually doing any good.

With a sigh, Tino slumped down in his usual seat at their usual table, beside Berwald, who was already there, though the rest of their normal group was running late it seemed.

"Hej," the Swede greeted, glancing over at Tino, his expression unreadable as ever. But Tino had already grown used to that, unnerving as it could be at time.

"Hej," Tino replied, and sat up a little straighter so Berwald would not think something was bothering him.

"Y'wanna meet t'night?" Berwald asked.

"Actually, I was thinking I might go to Mathias' party this week," Tino replied with a slightly apologetic smile. "I haven't been in a while and it would be nice to let off some steam before midterm exams." Those were only a week away, and he knew he would spend the entire next weekend studying for them.

Berwald nodded thoughtfully. He could not fault Tino's reasoning, at least. But he also could not help feeling a little disappointed. Berwald had begun looking forward to their meetings. Probably the most talking he did all week was in his ever more frequent chats with Tino, and he had noticed a marked difference in his English grades.

"Don't worry," Tino spoke up again when Berwald did not reply. "I promise I won't get drunk and make you carry me back to the dorm again. Or, at least I'll try." And he provided Berwald with such a bright smile that there was absolutely no way that the Swede could voice his disapproval. "I think even you could enjoy them if you let yourself," he added.

"Maybe," Berwald murmured. "Guess I'll see y' there, then."

"Yeah," Tino replied happily. And soon they were joined by the others, who quickly steered the conversation in a different direction.

* * *

That evening Berwald did, in fact, put in an appearance at Mathias' traditional Saturday night party. This was uncommon for him. Usually the Swede made himself scarce on these nights, even if he did not have plans with Tino. He was not exactly a bastion of confidence in crowded social settings. But this night he reluctantly made an appearance, if only because he had promised Tino he would do so, and Tino was the only one who actually seemed to enjoy his company.

This party was exactly like all of the others, which was probably the point. Berwald really did not understand the appeal of getting drunk and watching people make fools of themselves week after week. Although, it would be a lie to say Berwald had not partaken in his fair share of alcohol and foolishness. He just preferred to think of himself as one of the few who realized what a terrible idea the whole thing was.

Tino, despite his promises to not get drunk again, was not holding back at all. To be fair, Berwald did not think the Finn was aware of how much he was drinking. Every time his cup was empty someone refilled it, or replaced it with a bottle, and Tino was more than happy to empty that as well.

And half an hour into the party Tino had completely forgotten about Berwald. The Swede was only showing his face because Tino had requested it, but what were the odds Tino would even realize if he shut himself in the bedroom and did not come out for the rest of the night? At the rate he was going Tino probably would not remember his own name at the end of the night. And that was why Berwald hated these things.

But just as he was about to make a strategic escape so that Mathias would stop offering him various alcoholic beverages, Tino bounded up to him, grinning from ear to ear and obviously tipsy. "Berwald, Berwald," he chanted, grabbing the taller student's arm and tugging on it. "Alfred's teaching us how to play beer pong, come be on my team."

"Beer pong?" Berwald asked dubiously. This did not sound like a game he wanted to play.

"Yeah!" Tino enthused, tugging on his arm again. "It looks really fun. I wanna play, come be on my team. Please, please, please."

Berwald sighed. How could he refuse when Tino begged like that? He nodded and allowed the other to pull him across the room to where the others were setting up cups of beer on the coffee table. Maybe he could at least try to keep Tino's consumption to a minimum.

It did not work.

Three rounds of the game later Tino was still drowning every other drink and Berwald was beginning to feel a little light headed himself. This was not part of the plan. "Think we should stop now," he said, looking over at Tino as the table was set up for another round.

Tino looked up at him and pouted, but the Finn could hardly stand up straight without holding onto the table. "Just one more round?" he pleaded, but his voice was beginning to slur.

Berwald shook his head. "Not me," he said.

"Aww, you're no fun," Tino pouted. "I'll find someone else to be my partner then."

Berwald did not like that idea, but he also did not think he had any right to stop Tino. The Finn could do what he liked with his life, even if it did not sit well with Berwald. But that did not stop him from trying. "Why don't y'take a break an' let someone else play," Berwald suggested.

That gave Tino pause, and he looked around at the others gathered around the game. Then he shrugged and looked up at Berwald again. "Okay. But only if you come have another drink with me."

That was not the answer Berwald wanted, but one more drink would not hurt, right?


	7. Chapter 7

Berwald's grasp of the English language became significantly worse when he was drunk. His already thick accent became even worse, and his hesitant grasp on English grammar turned tenuous at best. But Tino could not complain; he was not doing much better. Despite protests that he should not have too much, Tino had a half drunk beer in one hand as he leaned against the counter in the corner of the kitchenette where he and Berwald had holed up away from everyone else. "An' Mum's not even gonna send me salmiakki for m' birthday," the Finn was complaining. "Asked an' she said no."

"Tha's mean," Berwald said with a frown. "'S your birthday."

"I know!" Tino pouted and took another swig of his drink.

"When 's it?" Berwald asked.

"What?" Tino asked in return.

"Birthday," the Swede clarified.

"Oh. It's six Joulukuu… December," Tino corrected himself. "Six December."

"Soon," Berwald commented in surprise. Only a little over a month away.

"Joo," Tino agreed. "Dunno what 'm gonna do. Birthday at school is boring."

Berwald did not have a chance to answer before some well-meaning, and surprisingly still sober, partygoer began shouting that it was almost curfew. Tino grumbled in annoyance and downed the last of his drink. "Stupid curfew," he complained, and pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against. He wavered on his feet for a moment before gaining secure footing. "I don' wanna go to sleep," he complained, and pouted as he looked up at Berwald.

"Sorry…" Berwald slurred with a shrug. But even drunk he knew Tino would get in trouble if he did not leave now, and he did not want Tino to get in trouble. And anyway, he could see Eduard heading over to escort his roommate back to their dorm. Eduard took Tino by the arm and began leading him away, and the Finn did not protest.

"Berwald, Berwald!" Tino said suddenly, turning around and pointing back at Berwald. "You… You should drink more. 'Cause it's fun. An' you should have fun. 'Cause… it's fun… yeah… goodnight!" And then Eduard pulled him off again, leading him out of the apartment and presumably back up the hill to the castle. Berwald blushed a little, but smiled as he watched them go.

"You should just ask him out," Mathias said suddenly, appearing from out of nowhere and leaning against the counter, and half over it to see what Berwald was staring at; namely Tino's retreating form.

"What?" Berwald exclaimed, startled both by his friend's sudden appearance and by what he had said.

Mathias turned to him with eyes wide and clueless, "What?" he parroted innocently. "I didn't say anything," he said, and pushed himself off the counter, disappearing before Berwald could stop stammering and say anything.

That Dane's words left Berwald flustered and confused. He was not interested in Tino like that. Not at all. No, definitely not. Well, maybe a little. But he was certain that Tino was not interested in him, so it was pointless. Besides, Mathias was drunk, he could not know what he was saying. And Berwald was not drunk enough to think that asking Tino out was a good idea. Although buying him a birthday present probably was.

* * *

The dining hall was practically abandoned on the Sunday morning that Berwald and Tino met there. In the weeks after the party Mathias had not said anything more to Berwald about Tino, which was certainly a good thing. Berwald did not want to be that confused again. Outside the sky was a dull grey; consumed by dark, heavy clouds that looked as though they might burst any moment and drench the castle and its grounds in rain and snow. Tino had been hoping it would snow. It was strange to him, the mild winters this far south, and that even up in the mountains as they were they did not receive as much snow as he was used to back home. Oddly, for as much as Tino complained about the harsh winters he was used to, this lack of snow made him feel a little homesick; nostalgic. He wondered if Berwald felt the same.

It was early December. The end of the term loomed on the horizon, and with it the inevitable threat of final exams. As expected, Tino was regretting his overly full schedule. An extra class meant extra work and extra stress. And even with Eduard's help he worried about failing Economics.

Thankfully, with Berwald he could put all of that out of his mind.

"Got y' a present," Berwald said, fidgeting nervously. From out of his school bag he took a small, rectangular package wrapped in simple brown paper. It was barely larger than Tino's hand when Berwald placed it in his palms.

"For me?" Tino asked, staring down at the brown paper. Immediately he began turning it over in his hands, examining the wrapping and the

"For your birthday," Berwald confirmed with a nod.

"You remembered," Tino said with surprise, but also a smile. He had not expected anything from Berwald, not even good wishes. He had told him about his birthday while they were both drunk; it was a miracle that Berwald remembered it. Of course, Tino was not the sort who refused presents regardless of when they were given. Smiling, excited, the Finn tore off the brown wrapping to reveal what was inside; an iconic black and white diamond box with red lettering. "Salmiakki!" Tino's eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning. "Where on earth did you get this?"

"Internet," Berwald replied with a shrug. "Sorry s'not much."

"Are you kidding?" Tino looked up at him with a grin that stretched from ear to ear and lit up his whole face. "This is the best present I've gotten yet. Thank you so much!" Setting the box of candies down, he stood up from his chair and leaned across the table to hug Berwald tightly, albeit awkwardly.

The Swede blushed, and hesitantly hugged him back. This was unexpected. Tino seemed far too excited for just a small box of candy, even if it was something he was homesick for. When Tino pulled back a moment later Berwald attempted to force the heat away from his cheeks, but he was really glad that such a small gift could make Tino so happy.

Still smiling Tino slipped the box of candy into his school bag and stood up. "Let's eat," he said, looking over at Berwald. "I'm going to save this for later." After breakfast, at least. It was unlikely that he would be able to make the treat last very long. In fact, the box would probably be empty by the end of the day. But that did not matter right now. Right now Tino was just happy that his friend had remembered his birthday and had thought to get him anything.

The pair went through the buffet line as usual, dishing themselves up some breakfast before returning to the table they had claimed only a short while earlier. Tino was in a very good mood despite the stresses of the end of a school term. This probably had something to do with the gift he had just received. The pair chatted amicably as they ate; Tino a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of black coffee and Berwald cereal, bacon, and a tall glass of juice.

"Berwald," Tino interrupted hesitantly, and he switched into Swedish in case they were overheard, although that was unlikely. This was not a discussion that he wanted put through the rumor mill. " _You know everyone thinks we're dating or something, right?"_

The Swede looked over at him curiously, then shrugged. " _It can't be everyone,_ " he replied.

" _It might as well be,_ " Tino grumbled. " _Doesn't it bother you?_ "

Berwald actually had to think about that for a while. He usually did not pay much attention to rumors, but they were not usually about him, either. " _Not really_ ," He admitted eventually. " _Why should it_?"

" _Because it's not true_ ," Tino snapped, then calmed down quickly, regretting the small outburst. " _Sorry… But it's just… annoying. I don't want people to think I'm dating you_."

Berwald frowned. Though he knew Tino had not meant it to hurt, those words stung a little bit. " _Would it really be so terrible?_ "

Startled, Tino looked up at him, and then blushed and shook his head quickly. " _I don't mean it like that. You're a great guy, anyone would be really lucky to catch you. But I don't want them thinking things that aren't true. It really doesn't bother you at all? Not even a little?_ "

Berwald thought about it for another moment, and then shrugged again. " _I guess. If it bothers you this much we could stop the tutoring. That's the only reason the rumor started._ "

The offer actually startled Tino a little bit. As much as he had been doubting the effectiveness of their "tutoring" sessions, he had never thought Berwald would want to end them. Maybe they were useless, but there was no harm in them. No harm except these rumors. " _They'll just say we broke up, or something,_ " Tino replied.

" _But they won't say we're dating anymore. Isn't that what you want?_ " Berwald asked, looking at Tino curiously. It was the only way he could think of short of making a school-wide announcement; and that probably would not work anyway.

The problem was that Tino actually enjoyed their meetings. He felt incredibly comfortable around Berwald; something about the Swede's presence just put him at ease. Tino had never worried what Berwald thought of him, or about whether he was making a fool of himself. He never worried about saying the wrong thing, and if he did they both laughed it off; there was no embarrassment. And he could tell that Berwald felt the same, at least to an extent. Berwald was so much more talkative when they were in private than he was in front of their other friends, at least from what Tino had seen. From their talks Tino was able to glimpse into the inner workings of Berwald's mind; he was able to see what was going on behind the Swede's impassive face.

" _You are a very strange person, Berwald_ ," Tino said thoughtfully.

Berwald blinked at him in surprise. He was not sure whether he should be offended or not, so instead just asked. " _What?"_

" _You're not like the others_ ," Tino continued. " _I can never tell what's going on in your head_."

" _Is that bad_?" Berwald asked. How had their conversation taken this turn? Berwald was not sure he was comfortable with this new topic.

" _I don't know_ ," Tino commented, and rested his chin in his hands. " _But I don't want to stop tutoring you. I like being able to see what is going on behind those glasses_."

Berwald felt his cheeks heat up very slightly, though he was sure there was no way Tino could have meant that to have any ulterior meaning. " _You do_?"

" _Is that weird_?" Tino asked with a short laugh and continued without waiting for any reply from Berwald. " _It probably is. I'm… just curious, I guess. You're a mystery, Berwald, but I like that about you._ "

To that, Berwald did not know how to reply, so he just stared down at the table between them. He felt a little embarrassed, but also strangely happy. Tino liked him. Well of course Tino liked him, he told himself, they spent so much time together it could not be considered school work anymore. Tino would not do that if he did not like Berwald.

* * *

"Did you ask him out?" Mathias asked almost as soon as the door opened, admitting Berwald back into their apartment. He was hunched over the coffee table with notes and textbooks spread out around him. As usual, cramming desperately for final exams and scrambling to finish projects that he had procrastinated away.

Berwald froze on the threshold and blushed from his collar all the way up to his ears. "No," he replied flatly.

Mathias scoffed. "Coward."

"Shut up," Berwald muttered tightly, and made a b-line for the bedroom. This was not something he wanted to deal with right after the conversation he had had with Tino. A conversation that seemed to suggest he would not be turned down flat if he did what Mathias had been prodding him to do for the past month. But that was easier said than done.

"You really should," Mathias called after him. "Before someone else asks him."

Berwald stopped again and glared back at Mathias. "No one else's gonna ask 'im," he argued.

"Why? Because everyone thinks you're already dating?" Mathias asked. "What if I tell them you've broken up? Tino's popular, I'm sure he'd have a lot of offers."

The comment caused Berwald to freeze in horror. Was that why Tino was so bothered by the rumors? Was there someone else he was interested in but could not get close to when everyone thought he was dating Berwald? Who? A sudden surge of jealousy welled up in Berwald's chest. It should have occurred to him before, but he was perfectly content with the way things were. It should have occurred to him that maybe, despite what he said, Tino was not.

But Berwald was not even interested in Tino that way, was he? No. Berwald shook his head and continued on, shutting himself into the bedroom to do his class work. Tino was just a friend. Probably his best friend, but still just a friend. He did not want to mess up their relationship by trying to make it something it was not. Not that it would be much different, Berwald realized. They already spent so much of their spare time together, knew so much about each other, and Tino was really the only person who could get Berwald to break out of his shell. How he managed to do that Berwald himself was still not sure. But he liked it.

He still could not ask Tino out, though. That was far too nerve wracking to even think about. He could not start dating Tino, a boy. Not even at boarding school, where it could be kept quiet. Tino deserved much better than him anyway, and much better than what Berwald could give him. Even if he wanted to, which Berwald assured himself he really did not, he could not do it. It was too dangerous.


	8. Chapter 8

The last weeks of the term flew by in a blur of exams, term papers, and all nighters in the school library. Tino barely spoke to Eduard, let alone any of their other friends. By far, this had been the most stressful school term of his life. With more classes than he was used to, each expecting more work than he was used to, by the time he finished his last final the Finn was exhausted; mentally any physically. And he still had to pack and get himself all the way back home. It would be his first time making the entire trip on his own, and Tino was nervous. What if he missed his flight? What if he got on the wrong train?

However, when it was all over, when Tino had finished his exams and passed a thankfully uneventful trip back to Finland, normal everyday life seemed dull. There was nothing to do. No homework, no friends to go have dinner with. Tino had gotten so used to the crowded dorms and dining hall at HIA that he felt at a loss in his small hometown.

Snow was thick on the ground at home. At school the one snow they had gotten in late November had not stuck for more than a few minutes. Tino would hardly call it snow at all. It was all so very different, and after two days sitting around with nothing to do and nothing to worry about, Tino began to feel a little homesick for the castle and its grounds and the other students.

He called up Eduard for a webcam chat and bemoaned that he would have nothing at all to do for the next three weeks until they went back to school and was at least able to find a sympathetic ear. Tino’s parents did not understand, nor did any of his few primary school friends. Then, of course, as the days dragged on and Tino got dragged into holiday preparations and doing chores and errands for his mother to keep him from sitting around the house complaining, he found himself missing certain people in particular.

He wanted to hang out with Eduard again, in person and not just online, but as Christmas drew closer both were too busy to meet up even though they lived only a few hours apart by train and ferry. He wanted to go to one of Mathias’ parties. He wanted to sit in the library with Berwald and talk about nothing for hours. He even wanted to go eat bad cafeteria food and drink stale coffee late on Sunday mornings. Because at school he was surrounded by people who knew how to laugh and have fun, and at home everyone just complained; complained about their family, or the weather, or the crowds out Christmas shopping. And suddenly all of the homesickness he had felt at school seemed so stupid, when that place was obviously so much more enjoyable than here.

On their way back from the winter holidays Tino and Eduard planned very carefully so their flights would arrive in Milan around the same time. From there they made their way by train and bus back up into the mountains and back to school. Exhausted after nearly a full day of travel, Tino immediately dropped his bags and flopped down onto his bed. “I wonder if the others are here yet,” he pondered out loud.

“Which others?” Eduard asked as he sat down on his own bed.

“Which others,” Tino parroted with a scoff and a roll of his eyes, “The only ones that matter,” he said, sitting up again to take off his shoes.

“You mean your boyfriend?” Eduard grinned.

Tino threw his shoe across the room at his best friend. “Shut up, you ass.”

Managing to dodge the throw, Eduard laughed. “You’re not denying it. Does that mean it’s true? Did something happen on break?”

“Nothing happened,” Tino grumbled through grit teeth. The joke was no longer funny to him on any level, and he wished Eduard would drop it. “I have not talked to him since we left.”

“What?” Eduard asked in surprise. Tino and Berwald were practically attached at the hip during the school year, he found it hard to believe that they could go weeks without saying a word to each other.

Tino shrugged, “I don’t have his phone number,” he replied.

“Or his email, or a screen name?” Eduard asked. How could two people so close not have any way of contacting each other? “You are a terrible boyfriend.”

“I’m not his boyfriend!” Tino protested, and sighed with frustration. He had hoped that everyone would give up on this teasing after the holiday, but of course he could never be so lucky. “Let’s get dinner, I’m starving.”

* * *

There was a certain skip in Tino’s step as he walked beside Eduard to the dining hall. As they walked in and stood in line to get their food he stood up on his toes to look over the heads of everyone else to see if their friends were there yet, a habit even though Tino could barely see over anyone’s head. So of course he never managed to spot anyone who mattered until they had already gotten their food and were looking for a place to sit. Though the dining hall was always crowded they had a usual table, or rather a usual corner in the back of the dining hall by the high windows where they took over whatever table was still empty. 

“Berwald!” Tino’s eyes lit up when he saw the other student sitting at their usual table and he rushed over. Setting down his tray quickly he threw his arms around Berwald’s shoulders and hugged him tight. “I missed you.”

Berwald was startled, to say the least. Even after this time he was not used to Tino’s enthusiasm nor his penchant for physical displays of affection. And to say he had missed him? They had only been apart for a few weeks, and that was hardly any time at all. But all the same, Berwald wrapped one arm loosely around Tino out of politeness before the other pulled away and took a seat beside him at the table. "Have a good vacation?" Berwald asked as he attempted to calm his racing heart. Why one hug had made him so flustered he did not understand, but he was doing his best to hide how his pulse was racing and his heart thundering in his chest.

"I guess so," Tino replied, picking up his fork to start eating. "It was pretty boring, and I had to spend a lot of time with my family, which is always annoying."

"Annoying?" Berwald asked.

Tino shrugged. "They just ask a lot of questions, you know? My parents, and then everyone else you have to see over the holidays. I had to answer the same dumb questions about ten times, I think," he said with an exasperated sigh. "How was your vacation?" he asked in turn.

Berwald actually hesitated before answering, deciding whether to be honest with Tino, whom he considered his closest friend, or to stay polite and not include the Finn in any of his personal drama. "Fine," he replied eventually. "Like you said."

"You have annoying relatives too?" Tino asked, "Everyone does, I guess."

"I had a really great vacation," Mathias butted in. "My family isn't annoying at all."

"No, I think you're just as annoying as everyone else so you don't notice," Nicklas told him.

"That's so mean," Mathias pouted. "You think I'm annoying?"

"Stupid, too, if you did not realize that by now," Nicklas replied flatly.

Mathias pouted more, but only for a moment before he got over the insult and grinned again, "I know you're just joking," he said, and gave Nicklas a one armed hug, "You're my best friend, after all, you could not think I was annoying."

Nicklas rolled his eyes, but did not say anything further to dispute Mathias' claim. "Did you get to do anything over vacation other than see your family, Tino?"

"No," Tino said with a sigh. "That's why it was so boring. My mother made me help her with the shopping and everything for Christmas. She never made me do that before."

"I bet she missed you," Eduard teased, "Baby Tino all grown up and living in another country. How lonely mommy must be without her baby to take care of."

"Shut up," Tino whined, face red with embarrassment, and shoved Eduard hard enough to nearly knock him out of his chair. "Your family is no better, from what I saw."

"You met his family?" Mathias asked, suddenly very interested.

"No, not really," Tino said, "But we talked on webcam a few times during the break and his mother was always trying to interrupt us."

"She doesn't understand privacy," Eduard said. "She always wants to know exactly what I'm doing all the time."

"Why, does she think you're some kind of delinquent?" Mathias asked, laughing. "Eduard the teen rebel," he said, and cracked up.

“I could if I wanted to!” Eduard protested indignantly.

“Only if it didn’t interfere with your study group,” Tino laughed as well.

* * *

Things at school fell back into the normal routine fairly quickly. Far more quickly than Tino had expected, actually. When, a few days after the students returned from their holiday, classes started up again everything moved just as smoothly as it had on the last day of classes in the previous term. It was so incredibly normal that it actually seemed strange to think they had all just been away for nearly a month 

Tino, as he had threatened, was no longer taking Swedish, which provided him a little extra free time in the afternoon. It was a welcome relief. Though he had gotten used to the stress of taking an extra course Tino welcomed the relief. And, he told himself, if Berwald was a good indicator his Swedish was perfectly good without needing any further class time.

Berwald's English, on the other hand, was a completely different story. Tino thought it was perfectly fine, understandable and more-or-less grammatically correct. The only thing that would make him difficult to understand was his accent, which remained as thick as ever. But when Berwald asked him on the second day of class if Tino wanted to keep tutoring him Tino was not particularly surprised. "Of course," Tino agreed easily. "When do you want to do it? Saturday night again?"

Berwald shrugged slightly. "Whenever's best for you," he replied. "If y' wanna go to Mathias' party we can meet another time."

"Well now that I've dropped Swedish I've got less homework to do," Tino said, humming thoughtfully. "So we could do it on a weeknight if you want, or on Sunday."

"How 'bout Friday?" Berwald asked.

"That sounds good," Tino agreed, and smiled. "In the library? We could go after dinner."

Berwald nodded in agreement. "That'd be good. Thanks for doin' this."

"I don't mind," Tino said. "It's fun. Are you sure you still need tutoring, though? I think you're English is just fine."

"I didn' use it during the holiday," Berwald said.

"Neither did I, except talking to Eduard a couple times," Tino replied, but shrugged. He was well aware of Berwald's doubts, unfounded though they were. "You got a good grade on your final exam for that class though, right?"

Berwald nodded, "Thanks t' you," he said.

Tino scoffed and turned away from him, feeling a little flattered, but he did not think he deserved it. "I didn't do anything. I just talked to you. We never even did any English homework."

"That helped, though," Berwald insisted. "I even got a good grade on the oral exam. Last year I failed that part."

"Really?" Tino asked in surprise. Berwald had never told him that before, but maybe that was why he was so self-conscious about his speaking ability. "But you speak English all the time with everyone else. What happened?"

Berwald shrugged and looked away in embarrassment. "Got nervous. Couldn' remember a word, stuttered, an' the teacher said I mumbled too much."

Tino stared up at him, but he felt like he was starting to understand why Berwald had so little confidence in his English speaking abilities. It sounded like he had been so nervous to talk in front of the class that he had messed up a lot. Berwald did not talk very much except when they were alone, so maybe talking to Tino really did help, by giving him more self-confidence. In that case it really would be a bad idea to stop their tutoring sessions. “Well, if you really think it helps then I’ll be happy to keep tutoring you,” Tino assured him. He did not mind their meetings, in fact he rather enjoyed it. Berwald was easy to talk to and easy to spend time with. Unlike their other friends, Berwald never teased him, or tried to get him drunk; no matter what they talked about Berwald never seemed to judge him. There were certainly worse ways to spend a Friday evening than hiding in a corner of the library with Berwald.

* * *

When Friday finally rolled around Tino was actually looking forward to spending a few hours in the quiet library with just Berwald for company. The teachers had gotten back into the swing of things just as quickly as the students and Tino already felt swamped with work. But he had made certain that everything was finished before dinner on Friday so that he would not have to worry about any of it while they were together.

“Tino, do you want to come to study group tonight?” Eduard offered as they walked to the dining hall for dinner 

“I can’t, I’m meeting with Berwald,” Tino replied, “Did I forget to tell you?”

“Must have,” Eduard replied. “Are you still tutoring him?”

Tino shrugged, “He asked if I would, and I don’t mind. I like spending time with him.”

“Does he even need tutoring anymore?” Eduard asked.

“I don’t think so, but…” Tino paused, wondering if he should share this or if Berwald had thought it would be private. Eventually he decided that talking about it to Eduard would not hurt. “I think his only problem is confidence,” Tino explained. “He doesn’t talk much except when I’m the only one around. He told me he failed his oral exams last year, so I think he’s scared of messing up again. I don’t really get it, but he did well on his last exam, so whatever we’re doing it does seem to help him.”

“People are going to keep talking,” Eduard pointed out.

Tino shrugged. “I’m not going to stop spending time with my friend just because people like to gossip,” he said.

“I never said you should stop spending time with him,” Eduard said, “But maybe limit the secret dates in the library a little bit.”

Tino sighed and held the door as they entered the dining hall. “I’ll consider it, but it seems like he’s the most comfortable there,” he explained.

Eduard shrugged again. He was no the one who had to deal with the rumors, so he let the subject drop. If Tino did not mind half the school thinking he and Berwald were dating then Eduard would let them continue. They went through the line to get their meals and then found a table to sit down at when they did not spot their friends right away.

They were seated and eating for less than ten minutes before Nicklas showed up and took a seat beside them. It was unusual to see him without Mathias and Berwald, and that did not go unnoticed by the two already eating. “Where are Mathias and Berwald?” Tino asked curiously.

“Still screwing around, probably,” Nicklas replied.

“What do you mean?” Tino asked, confused.

Nicklas shrugged and started to eat. “When I left they were arguing about something. Not sure what, I wasn’t paying attention. Something stupid, probably. They always argue about stupid things. Probably Mathias forgot to wash the dishes from breakfast.”

Tino frowned a little. “I’ve never seen them fight,” he said.

“You don’t live with them,” Nicklas pointed out, not that it comforted Tino at all.

For some reason knowing that they argued a lot upset Tino. He had always thought they were good friends, like himself and Eduard. Maybe he was wrong. “Are they going to be alright?” Tino asked in concern, “Should we go find them?”

Nicklas shook his head. “They will be fine soon, I’m sure. They always are.”

Tino glanced over at Eduard in concern, but his roommate just shrugged. “They fight a lot? I thought they were friends.”

“They are,” Nicklas told him, and favored Tino with a glance that suggested he thought the Finn was not very smart.

Tino was still confused, though. “Then why do they fight a lot?"

“Because they are both idiots,” Nicklas said as though it was obvious. “Oh, and here they are,” he said, looking up as Mathias and Berwald approached the table.

Tino sat up straight in his seat and practically gave himself whiplash as he turned around to see them. He did not understand why hearing about their supposed argument had upset him so much, but he was relieved to see that Mathias and Berwald did not seem to be mad at each other right now.

“What’s wrong?” Mathias asked as he sat down, noting the concern in Tino’s face. “You look like someone just killed your puppy.”

“Nicklas said you two were fighting,” Tino replied.

“What? Were you worried about us?’ Mathias asked, and grinned.

Tino frowned and huffed, “So what if I was?” he asked. “I don’t like it when my friends fight.”

“You don’ have to worry,” Berwald assured him calmly. “Happens all the time.”

“That’s exactly why I’m worried about it,” Tino insisted. “Friends aren’t supposed to fight all the time. Not real fights.”

“I wasn’ a real fight,” Berwald assured him. “Really, you don’ have to worry ‘bout us.”

“What were you fighting about?” Eduard asked.

“Nothing important,” Mathias assured them, “Berwald was mad because I forgot to wash my cereal bowl this morning. I told him it didn’t matter, it’s just a bowl.”

Berwald sighed, but did not reply, not wanting to start another fight in the middle of the cafeteria. Tino noticed his reaction, though, and was not very comforted. “That’s what Nicklas said it was,” the Finn murmured.

“He probably said it was stupid,” Mathias replied, “And it was. So don’t worry your pretty head over our stupid fights. It’s only because we have to live together.”

Berwald nodded in agreement and offered Tino a tiny smile. “Everything’s fine,” he assured. “Promise.”

* * *

“When are you going to ask him out?” Mathias asked, lounging on the sofa with a beer in hand while he watched Berwald gather his things to go study with Tino. 

“I’m not,” Berwald answered stiffly, and stuffed a textbook into his bag with a little more force than was probably necessary.

“Why not?” Mathias frowned and sat up a little straight. “You like him, and it is obvious he likes you.”

Berwald glared at him. Things were much more complicated than that and Mathias knew it. “Why d’you care if I ask him out?” he grumbled.

Mathias smiled at him, not his usual grin but a much more subdued expression. “Because you look happy when you’re with him,” he replied. “And you deserve to be happy." 

“Not that easy,” Berwald reminded him.

“Ja, ja, I know,” Mathias sighed and shrugged it off. “But no one at home has to know about it, do they?” he added before standing up. “I have homework to do. Maybe you can ask him tonight.”

Berwald frowned and slung his bookbag over his shoulder before heading for the door. He wished Mathias would leave him alone about this. Things were just fine now the way they were, with himself and Tino as friends. Why complicate it? Why risk ruining everything? Berwald shook his head, trying to get those thoughts out of his head before he reached the library, but it was harder than he expected. Because he really did like Tino, and if Tino really did like him back then dating him for real would be like a dream come true. But as happy as that thought made him, Berwald was equally terrified by it. He was not able to forget about the world outside of this school as easily as Mathias. Besides, keeping Tino a secret from everyone at home would not be fair to Tino.

No, Mathias was wrong. Things were best the way they were now. Uncomplicated and safe.

But the thought was still in the back of his mind when he arrived at the library, and it made him feel nervous around Tino in a way he had not since they had first met. He did not want to let Tino know what was bothering him, and tried his best to hide it. But Berwald was not good at speaking when he was carefree. When he was distracted it was even worse. The Swede stumbled and stuttered over his words whenever anything reminded him of his conversation with Mathias, and then became even more flustered after messing up the first time.

Thankfully, if Tino noticed anything was amiss he did not mention it, and Berwald was able to get through their tutoring session without embarrassing himself completely. Afterward he retreated back to his room and tried to forget the whole thing had happened.


End file.
